The Free Republic of Heplon is a massive, cultured nation, ruled by President Parrino with an even hand, and notable for its rum-swilling pirates, rampant corporate plagiarism, and flagrant waste-dumping. The hard-nosed, hard-working population of 1.675 billion Heplonians enjoy some of the most opulent lifestyles in the region, unless they are unemployed or working-class, in which case they are variously starving to death or crippled by easily preventable diseases.

The minute, corrupt, liberal, pro-business government, or what there is of one, prioritizes Industry, with Education also on the agenda, while Law & Order and Welfare are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Heplon City. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 1.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Heplonian economy, worth 304 trillion liberators a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Soda Sales, and Arms Manufacturing. Average income is an impressive 181,871 liberators, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,216,717 per year while the poor average 10,254, a ratio of 118 to 1.

The newest shade developed by Heplon's dye industry has been dubbed 'Agent Orange', the "Underwear of Women in Power" issue of The Heplon City Times is sold out, becoming a missionary is a sure-fire route to martyrdom, and the restriction that you must be over 1.1 metres tall to ride a carnotaurus has recently been waived. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, probably because of the absence of a police force. Heplon's national animal is the sparrow, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is capitalism.

Heplon is ranked 1,516^th in the world and 18^th in Europe for Highest Wealthy Incomes, with 1.22 million Standard Monetary Units.