The Commonwealth of Heloin is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Emily Smith with an even hand, and notable for its anti-smoking policies, sprawling nuclear power plants, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, cheerful population of 15.34 billion Heloians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, corrupt, socially-minded morass — juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Salisbury. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Heloian economy, worth a remarkable 3,727 trillion Heloian Pounds a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is mostly made up of the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing. Average income is an amazing 243,011 Heloian Pounds, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The government has started a campaign to crack down on road rage and encourage alternate means of commuting, the Salisbury Film Festival recently voted 'Heloian Getting Hit By Football' as best film, the Party has more splits than a yo-yo dieter's trousers, and parents who refuse to vaccinate their children are given a short jail sentence. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Heloin's national animal is the Sable Antelope, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Heloin is ranked 263^rd in the world and 1^st in Alyr for Largest Welfare Programs, scoring 17,423.63 on the Safety Net Mesh Density Rating.