by Max Barry

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Highest Foreign Aid Spending: 101st Most Advanced Public Transport: 150th Highest Average Tax Rates: 181st
The Republic of
Father Knows Best State
Isu Takamira Pamwe Chete
Civil Rights
Below Average
Political Freedom

Overview Factbook Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Deck


Population14.596 billion

LeaderEmily Smith

CurrencyHeloian Pound
AnimalSable Antelope

The Republic of Heloin is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Emily Smith with an iron fist, and renowned for its public floggings, sprawling nuclear power plants, and pith helmet sales. The compassionate, hard-working, cynical, cheerful population of 14.596 billion Heloians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, corrupt morass — juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Salisbury. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Heloian economy, worth a remarkable 3,506 trillion Heloian Pounds a year, is highly specialized and mostly made up of the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing. Average income is an amazing 240,221 Heloian Pounds, with the richest citizens earning 6.0 times as much as the poorest.

Children who display even minimal sporting aptitude are immediately assigned a personal trainer, roads are often attended by round-the-clock construction crews, Calvinball players are lost for days as they wander the vast halls of their new academies, and Brancalandian Brie isn't available anywhere in Heloin. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Heloin's national animal is the Sable Antelope, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Heloin is ranked 81,582nd in the world and 238th in The Glorious Nations of Iwaku for Largest Cheese Export Sector, scoring 1,498.89 on the Mozzarella Productivity Index.

Highest Foreign Aid Spending: 101stMost Advanced Public Transport: 150thHighest Average Tax Rates: 181stMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 193rdLargest Welfare Programs: 265thLargest Governments: 269thMost Efficient Economies: 273rdMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 315thMost Developed: 388thMost Advanced Public Education: 407thMost Beautiful Environments: 431stMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 459thLongest Average Lifespans: 488thMost Cultured: 538thHealthiest Citizens: 603rdMost Subsidized Industry: 683rdBest Weather: 767thMost Compassionate Citizens: 876thMost Rebellious Youth: 911thNicest Citizens: 923rdMost Pacifist: 1,002ndSmartest Citizens: 1,069thSafest: 1,084thLowest Crime Rates: 1,187thMost Inclusive: 1,609thMost Cheerful Citizens: 1,638thTop
Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 2,058thHighest Economic Output: 2,390thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 2,808thHighest Average Incomes: 3,104thMost Influential: 3,438thLargest Publishing Industry: 3,721stHighest Wealthy Incomes: 4,964thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 7,756thTop
Largest Populations: 9,087thHighest Poor Incomes: 11,347thMost Secular: 13,577thMost Stationary: 13,921stMost Scientifically Advanced: 16,036th
Largest Welfare Programs: 1st in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 1st in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 1st in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 1st in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 2nd in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 2nd in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 2nd in the regionLargest Governments: 2nd in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 2nd in the regionMost Developed: 2nd in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 2nd in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 3rd in the regionMost Cultured: 3rd in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 3rd in the regionBest Weather: 3rd in the regionMost Compassionate Citizens: 4th in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 4th in the regionNicest Citizens: 4th in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 4th in the regionSafest: 4th in the regionMost Pacifist: 5th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 5th in the regionTop
Most Subsidized Industry: 6th in the regionMost Stationary: 6th in the regionLargest Populations: 6th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 7th in the regionMost Cheerful Citizens: 7th in the regionMost Influential: 8th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 8th in the regionMost Inclusive: 9th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 10th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 12th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 14th in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 15th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 16th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 17th in the regionTop
Most Secular: 47th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 49th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Heloin voted for the World Assembly Resolution "Commend Bachtendekuppen".
  • : Heloin was endorsed by The Fallen Empire of Reqovia.
  • : Heloin altered its national flag.
  • : Heloin voted for the World Assembly Resolution "Commend The Church of Satan".
  • : Heloin voted for the World Assembly Resolution "International Aero-Space Administration".
  • : Heloin altered its national flag.
  • : Heloin was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Most Cheerful Citizens.
  • : Heloin altered its national flag.
  • : Heloin altered its national flag.
  • : Heloin voted for the World Assembly Resolution "Repeal "Right to Self-defense"".


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