The Republic of Hele Weba Aryistan is a colossal, efficient nation, remarkable for its suspicion of poets. The hard-working, democratic population of 9.653 billion Hele Weba Aryistanians enjoy frequent elections, which are uniformly corrupted by big-spending corporations buying politicians who best suit their interests.

The tiny, pro-business, outspoken government prioritizes Defense, with Welfare, Healthcare, and Education also on the agenda, while Environment and International Aid are ignored. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 6.1%.

The very strong Hele Weba Aryistanian economy, worth 640 trillion marks a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Soda Sales industry, with major contributions from Retail, Pizza Delivery, and Furniture Restoration. Average income is 66,377 marks, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 218,322 per year while the poor average 15,124, a ratio of 14.4 to 1.

The government regularly reassures citizens that there are no monsters under their beds, biker gangs and fashionistas are converting to Violetism en masse, Tetris has been banned for its graphic violent content, and commuters are denied boarding for attempting to bring packed lunches onto trains. Crime is a problem, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Hele Weba Aryistan's national animal is the crocodile.

Hele Weba Aryistan is ranked 250,964^th in the world and 10,463^rd in Lazarus for Lowest Crime Rates, with 51.58 law-abiding acts per hour.