The Iron-Fisted Imperium of Heilhum Imperius is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by High Lord Copperteir with an iron fist, and renowned for its strictly enforced bedtime, frequent executions, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 6.692 billion Imperials are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The medium-sized, corrupt, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Aurum. The average income tax rate is 82.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Heilhum Imperiusian economy, worth a remarkable 1,442 trillion Imperium Aeris a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, fairly diversified black market in Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Book Publishing. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 215,539 Imperium Aeris, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Strategic bombers are being converted into preschools, citizens are encouraged to report friends, family members or co-workers who seem depressed to the government for "counselling", arthritic surgeons with tremulous fingers reassure patients that they are in safe hands, and a firework a day does not in fact keep the doctor away. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Heilhum Imperius's national animal is the Aes Numen, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Nationalism.

Heilhum Imperius is ranked 305,600^th in the world and 8,879^th in The North Pacific for Most Primitive, scoring -522.12 on the Scary Big Number Scale.