The Borderlands of Heierlark is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Alpha Dude with an iron fist, and renowned for its deadly medical pandemics, avowedly heterosexual populace, and absence of drug laws. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 16.285 billion Heierlarkians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The minute, corrupt, well-organized government, or what there is of one, prioritizes Spirituality, although Industry is also considered important, while Environment and Education are ignored. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 1.4%.

The frighteningly efficient Heierlarkian economy, worth a remarkable 4,040 trillion Zollars a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Gambling industry, with significant contributions from Retail, Uranium Mining, and Soda Sales. Black market activity is frequent. Average income is an amazing 248,082 Zollars, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 848,213 per year while the poor average 53,346, a ratio of 15.9 to 1.

Alpha Dude accepted United Federation theatrical awards for Best Writer and Best Actress on behalf of the absent recipients, "Day of the Rope" is the top song of the summer, both vegetables and viruses are often smuggled across the border, and it is believed that behind every great man is a terrified subservient woman. Crime, especially youth-related, is so common that it is unusual to encounter someone following the law, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Heierlark's national animal is the Osprey, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Violetism.

Heierlark is ranked 294,323^rd in the world and 3^rd in Global Defense Brotherhood for Lowest Crime Rates, with 1.7 law-abiding acts per hour.