by Max Barry

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The Thirteen Zombie Hells of
Iron Fist Consumerists

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1

The Satire not allowed of The Blaatschapen

The Satire not allowed of The Blaatschapen is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by The Glorious Shepherd with a fair hand, and renowned for its irreverence towards religion. Its compassionate, hard-working, intelligent population of 20.263 billion live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The medium-sized, liberal, pro-business government devotes most of its attentions to Education, with areas such as Defence and Religion & Spirituality receiving almost no funds by comparison. It meets every day to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Das Kapital Cities. Income tax is unheard of. A powerhouse of a private sector is dominated by the Gambling industry.

Teams of painters are converting road signs from horse lengths to kilometers, a large-scale revitalization of the education system is underway, young children are regularly seen wagering pocket money at blackjack tables, and The Blaatschapen's children are widely acknowledged as the most foul-mouthed in the region. Crime is totally unknown. The Blaatschapen's national animal is the bo peep, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, its national religion is atheism, and its currency is the Keiter.

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