The Ecclesiastical Republic of Hastiaka is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Ka Santiago with an even hand, and notable for its smutty television, anti-smoking policies, and daily referendums. The devout population of 13.751 billion Hastiakans are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, corrupt morass — juggles the competing demands of Education, Defense, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Central. The average income tax rate is 95.9%.

The frighteningly efficient Hastiakan economy, worth a remarkable 1,662 trillion Talents a year, is highly specialized and mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing and Tourism. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 120,869 Talents, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Exceptionally healthy police officers can sprint after crooks for hours on end, if a tree falls in the forest and nobody is there to hear it... Hastiakan satellites can detect it, advert breaks are played at lower volumes to make them easier to ignore, and sleep-deprived officials are known to collapse after late night revision for their examinations. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Hastiaka's national animal is the Eagle, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Iglesia Ni Cristo.

Hastiaka is ranked 2,433^rd in the world and 4^th in Philippines for Most Advanced Public Transport, scoring 6,098.78 on the Societal Mobility Rating.