by Max Barry

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Most Ignorant Citizens: 780thMost Primitive: 923rdHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 1,248th
The Mega Chippy of
Iron Fist Consumerists
Another Day Another Doller
Big Francis
Influence
Apprentice
Chief Executive Officer
Region
Civil Rights
Rare
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Rare

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Hansa Federation

Population3.098 billion

CapitalNew Lubeck
LeaderBig Francis
FaithEmoism

CurrencyCrayons
AnimalBurgers

The Mega Chippy of Hansa Federation is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by Big Francis with an iron fist, and renowned for its barren, inhospitable landscape, ritual sacrifices, and infamous sell-swords. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 3.098 billion Emoes are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The relatively small, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Industry, Administration, and Spirituality are also considered important, while Welfare and International Aid receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of New Lubeck. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 23.9%.

The frighteningly efficient Hansa Federationian economy, worth 427 trillion Crayons a year, is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Retail, Uranium Mining, and Gambling. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 138,107 Crayons, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 638,665 per year while the poor average 18,017, a ratio of 35.4 to 1.

Sports journals are full of uplifting puff-pieces on professional boxers, 90% of active duty HFAF personnel have been laid off and replaced by robot kill-drones, food imports have skyrocketed after the recent 'Forage for Food' program severely backfired, and New Lubeck spends billions upgrading public transport. Crime is all-pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Hansa Federation's national animal is the Burgers, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Emoism.

Hansa Federation is ranked 258,258th in the world and 216th in Lands End for Most Advanced Public Education, scoring -6.32 on the Edu-tellignce® Test Score.

Top
1%
Most Ignorant Citizens: 780thMost Primitive: 923rdHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 1,248thHighest Crime Rates: 1,522ndMost Avoided: 2,071stMost Devout: 2,182ndLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 2,292ndTop
5%
Most Influential: 2,696thLargest Retail Industry: 2,756thFattest Citizens: 2,822ndNudest: 3,044thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 3,317thLargest Mining Sector: 3,363rdLargest Gambling Industry: 3,428thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 4,526thHighest Disposable Incomes: 5,405thMost Corrupt Governments: 6,692ndLargest Black Market: 7,772ndMost Advanced Defense Forces: 8,240thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 8,746thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 9,382ndLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 9,618thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 11,561stTop
10%
Most Subsidized Industry: 13,179thMost Patriotic: 13,640thMost Efficient Economies: 17,799thHighest Average Incomes: 18,747thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 19,692nd
Top
1%
Most Primitive: 2nd in the regionTop
5%
Most Ignorant Citizens: 3rd in the regionNudest: 5th in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 5th in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 7th in the regionMost Devout: 8th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 9th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 9th in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 10th in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 10th in the regionMost Avoided: 10th in the regionTop
10%
Largest Black Market: 14th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 15th in the regionFattest Citizens: 16th in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 18th in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 19th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 20th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 21st in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Hansa Federation, New Lubeck spends billions upgrading public transport.
  • : Following new legislation in Hansa Federation, food imports have skyrocketed after the recent 'Forage for Food' program severely backfired.
  • : Following new legislation in Hansa Federation, 90% of active duty HFAF personnel have been laid off and replaced by robot kill-drones.
  • : Following new legislation in Hansa Federation, sports journals are full of uplifting puff-pieces on professional boxers.
  • : Hansa Federation was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Largest Manufacturing Sector.
  • : Following new legislation in Hansa Federation, pirates armed with sonar-guided semi-autonomous torpedos and laser weapons systems are often seen capturing fishing trawlers.
  • : Following new legislation in Hansa Federation, university graduates and new home-owners toil in labour camps to work off their debts.
  • : Following new legislation in Hansa Federation, a vast monorail network carries people all over the country.
  • : Following new legislation in Hansa Federation, the nation refuses to discard its increasingly useless penny.
  • : Following new legislation in Hansa Federation, all the playground's a stage for Hansa Federationian schoolchildren.

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