The Republic of Handshakers United is a huge, orderly nation, notable for its state-planned economy, irreverence towards religion, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 419 million Handshakers are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Healthcare. The average income tax rate is 63.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The sizeable but underdeveloped Handshaker economy, worth 10.1 trillion Hands a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient black market in Cheese Exports, Door-to-door Insurance Sales, Trout Farming, and Soda Sales. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 24,194 Hands, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Solid-gold toilets are Handshaker prisons' least expensive furnishings, the army insists there is nothing gay about men in uniforms rolling in the mud, criminals lock themselves in their mums' basements to avoid prison, and toxic smog is dismissed as the populace just "letting off steam". Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Handshakers United's national animal is the Hand, which can occasionally be seen sifting through garbage in the nation's cities.

Handshakers United is ranked 289,381^st in the world and 5^th in Unions United for Highest Wealthy Incomes, with 29,673 Standard Monetary Units.