by Max Barry

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Most Primitive: 1,725thMost Devout: 6,008thMost Cheerful Citizens: 14,328th
The Penitent Republic of
Father Knows Best State
Nasḫuru, dārÔ./ Penitent, forever.
Civil Rights
Below Average
Political Freedom

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards


Population3.994 billion

LeaderThe Great Goddess Who Leads
FaithThe Penitent Path


The Penitent Republic of Hamatu is a massive, safe nation, ruled by The Great Goddess Who Leads with an iron fist, and remarkable for its teetotalling pirates, compulsory military service, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, cynical, devout population of 3.994 billion Palāḫu are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The enormous government prioritizes Spirituality, with Healthcare, Welfare, and Education also on the agenda. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Nagbu. The average income tax rate is 69.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The large but inefficient Palāḫu economy, worth 165 trillion Kaspus a year, is quite specialized and led by the Basket Weaving industry, with major contributions from Beef-Based Agriculture, Door-to-door Insurance Sales, and Woodchip Exports. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 41,443 Kaspus, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Autopsies often involve only cursory examination, government workers are regularly taken hostage by protesters, the government has legalised small-scale capitalism, and the dessert 'Death by Chocolate' isn't the most lethal dish on the menu. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Hamatu's national animal is the Sirrush, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is The Penitent Path.

Hamatu is ranked 226,007th in the world and 4,492nd in Lazarus for Fattest Citizens, with 8.68 Obesity Rate.

Most Primitive: 1,725thTop
Most Devout: 6,008thTop
Most Cheerful Citizens: 14,328thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 17,024thMost Pacifist: 19,678thNicest Citizens: 20,646thLargest Welfare Programs: 22,276thMost Compassionate Citizens: 23,511th
Most Primitive: 70th in the regionTop
Most Devout: 258th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Hamatu's influence in Lazarus rose from "Hatchling" to "Newcomer".
  • : Following new legislation in Hamatu, the dessert 'Death by Chocolate' isn't the most lethal dish on the menu.
  • : Hamatu's influence in Lazarus rose from "Unproven" to "Hatchling".
  • : Hamatu's influence in Lazarus rose from "Zero" to "Unproven".
  • : Hamatu was refounded in Lazarus.
  • : Hamatu ceased to exist in Puppetry tree of hamatu.
  • : Hamatu's influence in Puppetry tree of hamatu rose from "Eminence Grise" to "Power".
  • : Hamatu was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Largest Welfare Programs.
  • : Hamatu agreed to construct embassies between Puppetry tree of hamatu and The 1985 Movie Clue.
  • : Hamatu agreed to construct embassies between Puppetry tree of hamatu and Peaceful days.