The Loli Union Federal Republic of Ham Federation is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Loli Supreme Leader Princess Adeline with an iron fist, and renowned for its pith helmet sales, digital currency, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, hard-working, cynical population of 4.763 billion Lolis are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Metrololi. The average income tax rate is 70.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Loli economy, worth 526 trillion Doll Hairs a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Tourism, and Cheese Exports. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 110,547 Doll Hairs, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Colonists who were promised new lands find only war-torn devastation, mandatory electronic currency is a boon for credit card companies and government surveillance, pocket calculators are seen as status symbols for the ostentatiously wealthy, and 1% of global paper production is bound for the National Archive. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Ham Federation's national animal is the Hindslavic Pig, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Lolism.

Ham Federation is ranked 138,165^th in the world and 5,797^th in The North Pacific for Highest Disposable Incomes, with 32,169.46 Standard Monetary Units.