The Holy Empire of Haedlia is a gargantuan, efficient nation, renowned for its flagrant waste-dumping, strictly enforced bedtime, and frequent executions. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 17.992 billion Haedlians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, although Law & Order, Industry, and Spirituality are also considered important, while Environment and Welfare aren't funded at all. The average income tax rate is 99.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Haedlian economy, worth an astonishing 13,925 trillion newcoins a year, is broadly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, Woodchip Exports, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Average income is a breathtaking 773,998 newcoins, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 2,357,229 per year while the poor average 197,243, a ratio of 12.0 to 1.

The government response to disaster victims starving for bread is "let them eat stale cake", the commercialisation of highly deadly weapons has instilled Haedlia with a very polite populace, adverts proclaim it has to be healthy if the Mornay uses hand-grated Gallopavian Gruyère, and no-one can foil the ambitions of Big Aluminium. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force. Haedlia's national animal is the yellow jacket, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Haedlia is ranked 289^th in the world and 7^th in the West Pacific for Highest Unexpected Death Rate, scoring 596.29 on the Bus Surprisal Index.