The Friendly NationStates of Guyomartand is a massive, cultured nation, ruled by Hallowed Emperor Charles Henston with an iron fist, and remarkable for its free-roaming dinosaurs, sprawling nuclear power plants, and aversion to nipples. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 3.671 billion Guyomartandians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Law & Order, Education, and Industry also on the agenda. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of New Klolok. The average income tax rate is 98.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Guyomartandian economy, worth 911 trillion Chromia Credits a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is broadly diversified, is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology. Average income is an amazing 248,421 Chromia Credits, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Science labs across the country languish in cobwebs as the government turns its attentions to spiritual matters, family bonding sessions are considered immoral and are banned, bands of paramedics walk the streets looking for suspicious medical activity, and nuclear warheads are frequently launched into space as a warning to invading meteoroids. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Guyomartand's national animal is the Guyomartandian Moose, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Christianity.

Guyomartand is ranked 159,047^th in the world and 8,180^th in The North Pacific for Nicest Citizens, with 0.2 Average Smiles Per Day.