by Max Barry

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Most Eco-Friendly Governments: 252nd Most Beautiful Environments: 888th Most Advanced Public Education: 1,153rd
The Children's Crusade of
Liberal Democratic Socialists
All of this happened more or less
Beer Leader
Civil Rights
Very Good
Political Freedom

Overview Factbook Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Guiness Freaks

Population12.264 billion

CapitalJameson Whiskey
LeaderBeer Leader

Animalbeer owl

The Children's Crusade of Guiness Freaks is a gargantuan, genial nation, ruled by Beer Leader with a fair hand, and renowned for its ban on automobiles, restrictive gun laws, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, democratic, humorless population of 12.264 billion Guiness Freaksians love a good election, and the government gives them plenty of them. Universities tend to be full of students debating the merits of various civil and political rights, while businesses are tightly regulated and the wealthy viewed with suspicion.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, outspoken morass — juggles the competing demands of Environment, Education, and Social Policy. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Jameson Whiskey. The average income tax rate is 96.0%.

The frighteningly efficient Guiness Freaksian economy, worth a remarkable 1,382 trillion pints a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is mostly made up of the Book Publishing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology and Gambling. Average income is an impressive 112,743 pints, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Kids are told they can be whoever they want to be when they grow up, dozens of additional foreign policy specialists have been sent to the country's WA Mission, science centers and state of the art laboratories are ubiquitous, and one tree's worth of paperwork accompanies each imported log of timber. Crime is totally unknown. Guiness Freaks's national animal is the beer owl, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Nihilism.

Guiness Freaks is ranked 139,460th in the world and 4,141st in Lazarus for Most Primitive, scoring -194.02 on the Scary Big Number Scale.

Most Eco-Friendly Governments: 252ndMost Beautiful Environments: 888thMost Advanced Public Education: 1,153rdBest Weather: 1,180thLongest Average Lifespans: 1,450thTop
Most Popular Tourist Destinations: 1,673rdMost Developed: 2,247thMost Pacifist: 2,330thLargest Welfare Programs: 2,388thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 2,575thMost Rebellious Youth: 2,806thMost Inclusive: 3,075thMost Influential: 3,106thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 3,187thHealthiest Citizens: 3,433rdHighest Average Tax Rates: 3,706thMost Compassionate Citizens: 3,797thMost Secular: 3,967thLeast Corrupt Governments: 4,100thSmartest Citizens: 4,240thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 4,360thLargest Governments: 6,379thSafest: 7,595thTop
Highest Workforce Participation Rate: 8,296thHighest Economic Output: 9,389thLargest Publishing Industry: 9,821stLowest Crime Rates: 10,000thHighest Poor Incomes: 10,147thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 11,677thMost Advanced Public Transport: 13,098thRudest Citizens: 13,493rdLargest Populations: 15,017th
Most Eco-Friendly Governments: 13th in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 31st in the regionMost Influential: 45th in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 46th in the regionBest Weather: 46th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 48th in the regionTop
Most World Assembly Endorsements: 57th in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 70th in the regionMost Developed: 87th in the regionMost Pacifist: 110th in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 117th in the regionMost Inclusive: 120th in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 122nd in the regionMost Compassionate Citizens: 163rd in the regionMost Secular: 165th in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 167th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 175th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 176th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 205th in the regionLeast Corrupt Governments: 218th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 247th in the regionTop
Largest Governments: 337th in the regionHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 407th in the regionRudest Citizens: 444th in the regionSafest: 445th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 458th in the regionLargest Populations: 485th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 508th in the regionMost Income Equality: 516th in the regionMost Stationary: 532nd in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 533rd in the regionMost Politically Free: 536th in the region

National Happenings

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