by Max Barry

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Most Eco-Friendly Governments: 296thMost Beautiful Environments: 677thMost Advanced Public Education: 707th
The Children's Crusade of
Scandinavian Liberal Paradise
See ya later new Doug
Beer Leader
Civil Rights
Political Freedom

Overview Factbook Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Guiness Freaks

Population15.465 billion

CapitalJameson Whiskey
LeaderBeer Leader

Animalbeer owl

The Children's Crusade of Guiness Freaks is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Beer Leader with an even hand, and remarkable for its rum-swilling pirates, daily referendums, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, humorless population of 15.465 billion Guiness Freaksians enjoy extensive civil rights and enjoy a level of social equality free from the usual accompanying government corruption.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked morass — juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Social Policy. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Jameson Whiskey. The average income tax rate is 98.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Guiness Freaksian economy, worth a remarkable 2,251 trillion pints a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 145,576 pints, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Children aren't allowed to chew their pencils until they get home from school, the nation is Lazarus's leading manufacturer of intricately-patterned sweaters, politicians "baring all" for the camera isn't always a figure of speech, and the delay between passed legislation and real world implementation is often a decade or longer. Crime is totally unknown. Guiness Freaks's national animal is the beer owl, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Nihilism.

Guiness Freaks is ranked 23,575th in the world and 397th in Lazarus for Highest Drug Use, scoring 107.8 on the Pineapple Fondness Rating.

Most Eco-Friendly Governments: 296thMost Beautiful Environments: 677thMost Advanced Public Education: 707thBest Weather: 985thLargest Welfare Programs: 1,145thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 1,159thMost Inclusive: 1,362ndMost Rebellious Youth: 1,678thMost Developed: 1,867thMost Compassionate Citizens: 1,995thHighest Average Tax Rates: 2,087thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 2,106thTop
Most Influential: 2,561stMost World Assembly Endorsements: 2,608thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 2,876thLongest Average Lifespans: 2,903rdSmartest Citizens: 3,125thLargest Governments: 3,260thHealthiest Citizens: 3,566thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 3,820thMost Pacifist: 4,772ndMost Cultured: 5,311thMost Valuable International Artwork: 5,891stHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 6,110thHighest Poor Incomes: 6,335thMost Secular: 6,604thHighest Economic Output: 6,737thLargest Publishing Industry: 7,036thLeast Corrupt Governments: 7,997thNicest Citizens: 8,038thLowest Crime Rates: 8,217thMost Advanced Public Transport: 9,884thMost Armed: 10,660thTop
Most Efficient Economies: 12,715thLargest Populations: 13,952ndHighest Average Incomes: 14,957thMost Subsidized Industry: 17,549thMost Stationary: 19,173rdSafest: 19,497thLargest Information Technology Sector: 19,768thMost Scientifically Advanced: 19,786thMost Income Equality: 22,469th
Most Eco-Friendly Governments: 9th in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 18th in the regionMost Influential: 23rd in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 23rd in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 29th in the regionBest Weather: 41st in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 48th in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 50th in the regionMost Inclusive: 50th in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 59th in the regionTop
Most Developed: 82nd in the regionMost Compassionate Citizens: 82nd in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 102nd in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 110th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 136th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 138th in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 139th in the regionLargest Governments: 157th in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 178th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 212th in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 216th in the regionMost Pacifist: 219th in the regionMost Cultured: 268th in the regionHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 287th in the regionMost Stationary: 305th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 314th in the regionMost Secular: 315th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 328th in the regionTop
Largest Publishing Industry: 359th in the regionNicest Citizens: 368th in the regionHighest Drug Use: 397th in the regionLeast Corrupt Governments: 408th in the regionLargest Populations: 426th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 472nd in the regionMost Armed: 523rd in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 561st in the regionRudest Citizens: 567th in the regionMost Extensive Civil Rights: 595th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 675th in the region

National Happenings

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