by Max Barry

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Most Eco-Friendly Governments: 304thMost Beautiful Environments: 683rdMost Advanced Public Education: 752nd
The Children's Crusade of
Scandinavian Liberal Paradise
See ya later new Doug
Beer Leader
Civil Rights
Political Freedom

Overview Factbook Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Guiness Freaks

Population14.573 billion

CapitalJameson Whiskey
LeaderBeer Leader

Animalbeer owl

The Children's Crusade of Guiness Freaks is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Beer Leader with an even hand, and notable for its ban on automobiles, lack of airports, and hatred of cheese. The compassionate, humorless population of 14.573 billion Guiness Freaksians enjoy extensive civil rights and enjoy a level of social equality free from the usual accompanying government corruption.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, socially-minded morass — juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Social Policy. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Jameson Whiskey. The average income tax rate is 98.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Guiness Freaksian economy, worth a remarkable 2,077 trillion pints a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 142,534 pints, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Sales of pregnancy testing kits are booming, welfare funding has recently gone through the roof, the nation is currently revamping its entire education system, and the lactose-intolerant are force-fed cheese products with predictably gassy results. Crime is totally unknown. Guiness Freaks's national animal is the beer owl, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Nihilism.

Guiness Freaks is ranked 7,925th in the world and 519th in Lazarus for Lowest Crime Rates, with 98.04 Law-abiding Acts Per Hour.

Most Eco-Friendly Governments: 304thMost Beautiful Environments: 683rdMost Advanced Public Education: 752ndBest Weather: 1,012thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 1,204thLargest Welfare Programs: 1,281stMost Pacifist: 1,310thMost Inclusive: 1,391stMost Rebellious Youth: 1,789thMost Developed: 1,880thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 2,009thMost Compassionate Citizens: 2,051stTop
Highest Average Tax Rates: 2,113thMost Influential: 2,121stMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 2,411thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 2,459thLongest Average Lifespans: 3,010thSmartest Citizens: 3,220thLargest Governments: 3,309thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 3,358thHealthiest Citizens: 3,681stHighest Poor Incomes: 5,074thMost Valuable International Artwork: 5,622ndMost Cultured: 5,743rdLargest Publishing Industry: 6,545thHighest Economic Output: 6,990thSafest: 7,865thLowest Crime Rates: 7,925thNicest Citizens: 8,850thLeast Corrupt Governments: 9,231stMost Advanced Public Transport: 9,521stTop
Highest Workforce Participation Rate: 11,226thMost Efficient Economies: 13,397thMost Secular: 14,075thLargest Populations: 14,177thMost Income Equality: 14,557thHighest Average Incomes: 15,215thMost Subsidized Industry: 16,275thHighest Drug Use: 19,996thMost Stationary: 20,831st
Most Eco-Friendly Governments: 12th in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 23rd in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 30th in the regionMost Influential: 31st in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 33rd in the regionBest Weather: 45th in the regionMost Inclusive: 53rd in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 53rd in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 62nd in the regionMost Pacifist: 66th in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 67th in the regionTop
Most Politically Apathetic Citizens: 90th in the regionMost Developed: 92nd in the regionMost Compassionate Citizens: 92nd in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 121st in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 135th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 152nd in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 168th in the regionLargest Governments: 173rd in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 192nd in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 211th in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 215th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 276th in the regionMost Cultured: 326th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 344th in the regionMost Stationary: 356th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 362nd in the regionMost Income Equality: 378th in the regionTop
Nicest Citizens: 430th in the regionSafest: 442nd in the regionLargest Populations: 456th in the regionHighest Drug Use: 459th in the regionLeast Corrupt Governments: 519th in the regionHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 519th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 519th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 686th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 689th in the region

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