by Max Barry

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Most Eco-Friendly Governments: 253rdMost Beautiful Environments: 594thMost Advanced Public Education: 641st
The Children's Crusade of
Scandinavian Liberal Paradise
See ya later new Doug
Beer Leader
Influence
Apprentice
Region
Civil Rights
Excessive
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Very Good

Overview Factbook Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Guiness Freaks

Population17.205 billion

CapitalJameson Whiskey
LeaderBeer Leader
FaithNihilism

Currencypint
Animalbeer owl

The Children's Crusade of Guiness Freaks is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Beer Leader with an even hand, and remarkable for its smutty television, compulsory vegetarianism, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, humorless population of 17.205 billion Guiness Freaksians enjoy extensive civil rights and enjoy a level of social equality free from the usual accompanying government corruption.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, liberal morass — juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Social Policy. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Jameson Whiskey. The average income tax rate is 98.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Guiness Freaksian economy, worth a remarkable 2,702 trillion pints a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 157,086 pints, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The population's jaw muscles put sharks to shame, elections have become procedural nightmares due to voters persistently rejecting candidates, conductors wield diamond-encrusted batons to fit in with their freshly gilded surroundings, and young and brooding teens are welcomed with open arms to the Dogwarts School of Strangeness and Sorcery. Crime is totally unknown. Guiness Freaks's national animal is the beer owl, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Nihilism.

Guiness Freaks is ranked 232,582nd in the world and 8,994th in Lazarus for Highest Unexpected Death Rate, scoring 17.76 on the Bus Surprisal Index.

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1%
Most Eco-Friendly Governments: 253rdMost Beautiful Environments: 594thMost Advanced Public Education: 641stLargest Welfare Programs: 755thBest Weather: 926thMost Rebellious Youth: 1,139thMost Inclusive: 1,234thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 1,640thMost Compassionate Citizens: 1,670thHighest Average Tax Rates: 1,713thHighest Food Quality: 1,790thMost Pacifist: 1,835thMost Developed: 1,882ndHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 2,263rdTop
5%
Smartest Citizens: 2,605thLargest Governments: 2,626thHighest Drug Use: 2,671stLongest Average Lifespans: 2,755thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 2,883rdMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 2,894thMost Influential: 3,278thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 3,392ndHealthiest Citizens: 3,656thMost Cultured: 3,840thNicest Citizens: 5,250thHighest Poor Incomes: 5,661stLargest Publishing Industry: 5,821stHighest Economic Output: 5,937thMost Valuable International Artwork: 6,311thMost Advanced Public Transport: 7,506thLowest Crime Rates: 8,013thHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 8,373rdRudest Citizens: 8,557thMost Secular: 9,620thNudest: 9,944thMost Efficient Economies: 10,567thTop
10%
Least Corrupt Governments: 12,319thHighest Average Incomes: 12,571stLargest Populations: 13,305thMost Subsidized Industry: 14,476thMost Stationary: 16,118thLargest Information Technology Sector: 16,704thMost Scientifically Advanced: 17,333rdMost Extensive Civil Rights: 18,578thSafest: 20,084thMost Income Equality: 20,253rd
Top
1%
Most Eco-Friendly Governments: 10th in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 21st in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 24th in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 26th in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 26th in the regionBest Weather: 34th in the regionMost Influential: 35th in the regionHighest Drug Use: 35th in the regionMost Inclusive: 37th in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 43rd in the regionMost Compassionate Citizens: 49th in the regionHighest Food Quality: 64th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 67th in the regionMost Pacifist: 71st in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 79th in the regionMost Developed: 80th in the regionTop
5%
Highest Foreign Aid Spending: 116th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 117th in the regionLargest Governments: 121st in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 128th in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 128th in the regionMost Extensive Civil Rights: 137th in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 172nd in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 175th in the regionMost Cultured: 184th in the regionNicest Citizens: 218th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 254th in the regionMost Stationary: 263rd in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 279th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 300th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 304th in the regionNudest: 374th in the regionLargest Populations: 404th in the regionHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 419th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 448th in the regionRudest Citizens: 450th in the regionTop
10%
Most Efficient Economies: 487th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 534th in the regionMost Secular: 539th in the regionMost Income Equality: 625th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 678th in the regionLeast Corrupt Governments: 695th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 697th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Guiness Freaks lodged a message on the Lazarus Regional Message Board.
  • : Guiness Freaks lodged a message on the Lazarus Regional Message Board.
  • : Following new legislation in Guiness Freaks, young and brooding teens are welcomed with open arms to the Dogwarts School of Strangeness and Sorcery.
  • : Following new legislation in Guiness Freaks, conductors wield diamond-encrusted batons to fit in with their freshly gilded surroundings.
  • : Following new legislation in Guiness Freaks, elections have become procedural nightmares due to voters persistently rejecting candidates.
  • : Following new legislation in Guiness Freaks, the population's jaw muscles put sharks to shame.
  • : Guiness Freaks lodged a message on the Lazarus Regional Message Board.
  • : Guiness Freaks lodged a message on the Lazarus Regional Message Board.
  • : Guiness Freaks voted against the World Assembly Resolution "Repeal "Liberate Nazi Europa"".
  • : Guiness Freaks voted against the World Assembly Resolution "Preventing Identity Theft".

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