by Max Barry

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Most Eco-Friendly Governments: 276thMost Advanced Public Education: 634thMost Beautiful Environments: 720th
The Children's Crusade of
Scandinavian Liberal Paradise
Free Palestine 🇵🇸
Beer Leader
Influence
Squire
Region
Civil Rights
Excessive
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Very Good

Overview Factbook Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Guiness Freaks

Population22.643 billion

CapitalJameson Whiskey
LeaderBeer Leader
FaithAtheism yeah buddy

Currencypint
Animalbeer owl

The Children's Crusade of Guiness Freaks is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Beer Leader with an even hand, and remarkable for its lack of airports, rampant corporate plagiarism, and ban on automobiles. The compassionate, democratic, humorless population of 22.643 billion Guiness Freaksians enjoy extensive civil rights and enjoy a level of social equality free from the usual accompanying government corruption.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, liberal morass — juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Jameson Whiskey. The average income tax rate is 99.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Guiness Freaksian economy, worth a remarkable 3,737 trillion pints a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 165,070 pints, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Criminal rehabilitation takes place in re-education centers, ADHD now stands for Attention Distracted by Hardware Devices, every day has been a surprise since weather reporters turned to consulting ancient totems for their seven-day forecasts, and anti-government political posters adorn every building like wallpaper. Crime is totally unknown. Guiness Freaks's national animal is the beer owl, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Atheism yeah buddy.

Guiness Freaks is ranked 4,581st in the world and 197th in Lazarus for Most Cultured, scoring 175 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.

Top
1%
Most Eco-Friendly Governments: 276thMost Advanced Public Education: 634thMost Beautiful Environments: 720thLargest Welfare Programs: 815thBest Weather: 1,128thMost Rebellious Youth: 1,233rdMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 1,387thMost Secular: 1,506thMost Inclusive: 1,529thHighest Average Tax Rates: 1,802ndHighest Food Quality: 2,007thMost Pacifist: 2,070thMost Compassionate Citizens: 2,107thMost Developed: 2,144thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 2,441stLargest Governments: 2,736thLongest Average Lifespans: 2,785thSmartest Citizens: 2,929thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 3,067thTop
5%
Most World Assembly Endorsements: 3,149thMost Influential: 3,816thHealthiest Citizens: 3,910thMost Cultured: 4,581stNicest Citizens: 5,068thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 5,150thHighest Economic Output: 5,242ndLargest Publishing Industry: 5,267thHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 5,486thMost Advanced Public Transport: 6,615thHighest Poor Incomes: 6,992ndRudest Citizens: 7,192ndMost Valuable International Artwork: 7,678thLowest Crime Rates: 9,060thMost Stationary: 11,302ndLargest Populations: 11,889thLeast Corrupt Governments: 12,527thMost Efficient Economies: 15,004thTop
10%
Nudest: 16,250thHighest Average Incomes: 17,175thMost Scientifically Advanced: 19,875thSafest: 20,475thLargest Information Technology Sector: 23,013thMost Subsidized Industry: 23,015thMost Extensive Civil Rights: 28,137thHighest Drug Use: 28,788thMost Income Equality: 29,177th
Top
1%
Most Eco-Friendly Governments: 9th in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 23rd in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 25th in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 25th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 30th in the regionBest Weather: 36th in the regionMost Inclusive: 40th in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 42nd in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 50th in the regionMost Influential: 53rd in the regionMost Secular: 66th in the regionMost Compassionate Citizens: 66th in the regionHighest Food Quality: 71st in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 72nd in the regionMost Pacifist: 89th in the regionMost Developed: 91st in the regionLargest Governments: 108th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 114th in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 115th in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 125th in the regionTop
5%
Most Popular Tourist Destinations: 136th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 188th in the regionMost Stationary: 190th in the regionMost Cultured: 197th in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 206th in the regionNicest Citizens: 233rd in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 235th in the regionHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 308th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 308th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 356th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 360th in the regionRudest Citizens: 365th in the regionLargest Populations: 438th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 450th in the regionMost Extensive Civil Rights: 515th in the regionHighest Drug Use: 581st in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 583rd in the regionLeast Corrupt Governments: 653rd in the regionTop
10%
Nudest: 779th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 854th in the regionMost Income Equality: 1,212th in the regionSafest: 1,212th in the region

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