The Jingoistic States of Guanolandia is a gargantuan, genial nation, remarkable for its public floggings, daily referendums, and absence of drug laws. The compassionate, democratic, devout population of 26.735 billion Guanolandians enjoy a sensible mix of personal and economic freedoms, while the political process is open and the people's right to vote held sacrosanct.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Healthcare, Education, and Social Policy. The average income tax rate is 74.1%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Guanolandian economy, worth a remarkable 2,325 trillion Turds a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, broadly diversified black market in Gambling. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 86,965 Turds, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.3 times as much as the poorest.

Trails to natural wonders are littered with trash from reality film crews, 'A is for Annulment' is a popular children's song, the new national campaign exhorts men to "Show Some Class - Don't Sit On Your Ass", and laser-wielding robots are taking aim at human hearts. Crime, especially youth-related, is a problem. Guanolandia's national animal is the fecal matter, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Guanolandia is ranked 258,451^st in the world and 6^th in The ProcrastiNations for Lowest Crime Rates, with 46.95 law-abiding acts per hour.