by Max Barry

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Largest Retail Industry: 735th Largest Soda Pop Sector: 1,158th Rudest Citizens: 2,561st
The Lone Star Republic of
Capitalist Paradise
You may all go to Hell, and I will go to Texas
Influence
Squire
Region
Civil Rights
Very Good
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Very Good

Overview Factbook Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend

The Lone Star Republic of Greater United Texas is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Greg Abbott with an even hand, and notable for its flagrant waste-dumping, ubiquitous missile silos, and smutty television. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, devout population of 1.322 billion Texans are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The minute, pro-business government, or what there is of one, is primarily concerned with Defense, with Industry, Law & Order, and Education also on the agenda, while Welfare and Environment are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Austin. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 2.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Texan economy, worth 196 trillion dollars a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with significant contributions from Soda Sales, Information Technology, and Arms Manufacturing. Average income is an impressive 148,885 dollars, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 523,315 per year while the poor average 30,698, a ratio of 17.0 to 1.

Prices fluctuate manically for no fathomable reason, colonial citizens are forced to sing the praise of the "Great Texan Liberator", asking a cutie their star sign is always met with withering scorn, and the nation's once beautiful countryside have turned brown as farmers spray potent pesticides. Crime, especially youth-related, is a major problem, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Greater United Texas's national animal is the Nine-Banded Armadillo, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Cowboy Church Christianity.

Greater United Texas is ranked 73,689th in the world and 78th in Texas for Most Politically Free, scoring 67.33 on the Diebold Election Inking Scale.

Top
1%
Largest Retail Industry: 735thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 1,158thTop
5%
Rudest Citizens: 2,561stFattest Citizens: 2,709thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 2,969thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 3,045thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 3,875thHighest Crime Rates: 4,120thLargest Gambling Industry: 4,216thMost Avoided: 4,685thMost Armed: 5,130thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 5,328thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 5,913thMost Rebellious Youth: 6,735thMost Devout: 8,850thTop
10%
Most Pro-Market: 10,683rdMost Influential: 11,322ndHighest Average Incomes: 11,976thHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 12,040thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 13,555thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 15,720thMost Efficient Economies: 17,537thMost Cheerful Citizens: 17,973rd
Top
5%
Most World Assembly Endorsements: 5th in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 7th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 8th in the regionTop
10%
Largest Soda Pop Sector: 11th in the regionRudest Citizens: 15th in the regionMost Pro-Market: 15th in the regionFattest Citizens: 17th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Greater United Texas's influence in Texas rose from "Page" to "Squire".
  • : Following new legislation in Greater United Texas, the nation's once beautiful countryside have turned brown as farmers spray potent pesticides.
  • : Following new legislation in Greater United Texas, asking a cutie their star sign is always met with withering scorn.
  • : Following new legislation in Greater United Texas, colonial citizens are forced to sing the praise of the "Great Texan Liberator".
  • : Following new legislation in Greater United Texas, prices fluctuate manically for no fathomable reason.
  • : Following new legislation in Greater United Texas, the government is pouring money into 'Operation Enduring Democracy'.
  • : Greater United Texas endorsed The United States of Legaterra.
  • : Following new legislation in Greater United Texas, in a baffling press conference Greg Abbott proudly dismantled a broken door.
  • : Greater United Texas voted against the World Assembly Resolution "Safeguarding Nuclear Materials".
  • : Following new legislation in Greater United Texas, 'A is for Annulment' is a popular children's song.

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