by Max Barry

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Highest Foreign Aid Spending: 6th Most Advanced Public Transport: 14th Largest Welfare Programs: 33rd
The Great Scientific Polity of
Left-wing Utopia
We Don't Get Mad, We Get Stabby
Eminence Grise
Civil Rights
Political Freedom
World Benchmark

Overview Factbook Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend

Greater Cuba

Population24.892 billion

CapitalNueva Havana
LeaderChe Castro

Animaldik dik

The Great Scientific Polity of Greater Cuba is a gargantuan, genial nation, ruled by Che Castro with a fair hand, and renowned for its museums and concert halls, devotion to social welfare, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful, devout population of 24.892 billion Cubans are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The enormous, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Environment, Education, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Nueva Havana. The income tax rate is 100%.

The powerhouse Greater Cuban economy, worth a remarkable 6,664 trillion Roubles a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity. The industrial sector is mostly comprised of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, although the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 267,753 Roubles, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Selfie stick use is a required Scout badge, elections are won by the candidate who makes the best 'yo mama' jokes, builders across Greater Cuba are blocked up with orders for new public loos, and funerals are often rudely interrupted by juggling clowns shouting for volunteers from the audience. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Greater Cuba's national animal is the dik dik, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Greater Cuba is ranked 26,175th in the world and 11th in USSR for Most Extensive Civil Rights, with 73.9 Martin Luther King, Jr. Units.

Highest Foreign Aid Spending: 6thMost Advanced Public Transport: 14thLargest Welfare Programs: 33rdMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 37thHighest Average Tax Rates: 43rdLargest Governments: 45thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 53rdMost Beautiful Environments: 142ndMost Pacifist: 143rdMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 148thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 155thSafest: 160thMost Advanced Public Education: 188thLowest Crime Rates: 256thLongest Average Lifespans: 269thMost Subsidized Industry: 326thBest Weather: 389thHighest Poor Incomes: 472ndMost Influential: 495thHighest Economic Output: 622ndSmartest Citizens: 690thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 693rdHealthiest Citizens: 1,317thMost Compassionate Citizens: 1,389thMost Stationary: 1,518thNicest Citizens: 1,551stTop
Most Inclusive: 1,909thHighest Average Incomes: 1,966thLargest Populations: 2,189thMost Cultured: 3,069thMost Cheerful Citizens: 3,431stMost World Assembly Endorsements: 3,961stMost Scientifically Advanced: 4,017thLeast Corrupt Governments: 5,034thMost Rebellious Youth: 5,263rdTop
Most Developed: 9,777thMost Politically Free: 9,792nd
Most Extensive Public Healthcare: 1st in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 1st in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 1st in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 1st in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 1st in the regionMost Pacifist: 1st in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 1st in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 1st in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 1st in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 1st in the regionTop
Highest Average Tax Rates: 2nd in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 2nd in the regionHighest Economic Output: 2nd in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 2nd in the regionLargest Governments: 2nd in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 2nd in the regionMost Influential: 2nd in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 3rd in the regionSafest: 3rd in the regionBest Weather: 3rd in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 3rd in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 3rd in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 4th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 4th in the regionMost Stationary: 4th in the regionMost Politically Free: 5th in the regionTop
Largest Populations: 6th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 6th in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 7th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 9th in the regionMost Devout: 10th in the regionMost Cheerful Citizens: 10th in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 10th in the regionMost Cultured: 10th in the region

National Happenings

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