The Dominion of Great Baltic Empire is a gargantuan, orderly nation, renowned for its complete lack of prisons, frequent executions, and ubiquitous missile silos. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 11.226 billion Baltics are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Rīga. The average income tax rate is 73.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Great Baltic Empirean economy, worth a remarkable 1,772 trillion Euros a year, is led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, and Book Publishing. Black market activity is extensive. Average income is an impressive 157,884 Euros, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.9 times as much as the poorest.

Immigrants who don't like the taste of Great Baltic Empirean Turnip Chips are immediately deported, Lion sanctuaries have been taken over by hydraulic fracturing sites, the bonfire of the old paper records can be seen for miles around Rīga, and Baltics are regularly fired for looking at MyFace during their lunch breaks. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Great Baltic Empire's national animal is the Lion, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Great Baltic Empire is ranked 11,991^st in the world and 623^rd in Osiris for Longest Average Lifespans, with 91.14 years.