The Boiled Dinner of Granny Agnes is a colossal, efficient nation, notable for its teetotalling pirates, unlimited-speed roads, and ubiquitous missile silos. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 7.033 billion Grannies are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The relatively small, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Administration, and Education. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 22.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Elderly economy, worth 786 trillion Chips a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Furniture Restoration industry, with major contributions from Woodchip Exports, Door-to-door Insurance Sales, and Gambling. Black market activity is extensive. Average income is an impressive 111,787 Chips, with the richest citizens earning 8.9 times as much as the poorest.

Newspapers and TV broadcasters are given a list of 'acceptable words', personal injury lawyers are demanding compensation from the government after recent reductions in manufacturer liability, government officials are held to the highest standard of morality, and the people consider response to rudeness to be an acceptable casus belli. Crime is a serious problem, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Granny Agnes's national animal is the Lap Dog, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Granny Agnes is ranked 266,426^th in the world and 10^th in Bakersville for Lowest Crime Rates, with 40.37 law-abiding acts per hour.