The Cup of Tea of Grand Miltonia is a gargantuan, efficient nation, notable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, smutty television, and multi-spousal wedding ceremonies. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, humorless population of 28.119 billion Grand Miltonians live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The minute, liberal, pro-business, outspoken government, or what there is of one, is solely concerned with Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Mr Happy's Funland. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Grand Miltonian economy, worth a remarkable 9,355 trillion CCUS a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Soda Sales, and Retail. Average income is an amazing 332,716 CCUS, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 2,548,712 per year while the poor average 11,771, a ratio of 216 to 1.

School lessons are constantly interrupted by 'teacher needs a break' time, foreign leaders with unpaid parking tickets are often refused entry, international humanitarian organisations are applauding the government for ending the death penalty, and citizens are arrested for naturally producing proteins. Crime, especially youth-related, is so common that it is unusual to encounter someone following the law, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Grand Miltonia's national animal is the Sea Squirt, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Grand Miltonia is ranked 169,408^th in the world and 43^rd in Taijitu for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 12.33 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.