The Eternal Empire of Grand Elysium is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Kronos with an iron fist, and notable for its compulsory vegetarianism, free-roaming dinosaurs, and avowedly heterosexual populace. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 13.156 billion Elysians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, although Education and Healthcare are also considered important. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Makaron Nesoi. The average income tax rate is 97.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Grand Elysiumian economy, worth a remarkable 3,866 trillion Elysiites a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, quite specialized black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, and Uranium Mining. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 293,915 Elysiites, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Citizens are constantly disappointed to find their nuisance neighbours are still alive, talkative students are escorted from schools in second-hand prison buses, gossip magazines have been replaced by mask catalogs, and many politicians are serving jail time for minor drug offenses. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Grand Elysium's national animal is the Eagle of Kronos, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is Cult of Kronos.

Grand Elysium is ranked 7,696^th in the world and 22^nd in Concord for Most Conservative, scoring 92 on the Bush-Santorum Dawning Terror Index.