The Federal Socialist Republic of Grand Caledonia is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by President John Tutugoro with a fair hand, and remarkable for its multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, otherworldly petting zoo, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 16.696 billion Caledonians hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, outspoken morass — juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Canterbury. The average income tax rate is 98.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Grand Caledonian economy, worth a remarkable 2,296 trillion Caledonian Shillings a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is extremely specialized, is mostly made up of the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 137,562 Caledonian Shillings, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Evenings at university debating societies often end with everyone acknowledging both sides may well be right, five-year-olds who refuse to line up on command get gold stars, boys who take just one date to the high school prom are called 'losers', and defense lawyers suggestively note to juries how flagrantly happy victims were. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Grand Caledonia's national animal is the Zealandian Moa, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Grand Caledonia is ranked 234,686^th in the world and 384^th in The Leftist Assembly for Most Armed, with 0.15 Weapons Per Person.