by Max Barry

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Highest Foreign Aid Spending: 634thLeast Corrupt Governments: 874thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 953rd
The Federal Socialist Republic of
Civil Rights Lovefest
Caledonia, Pearl of Liberty!
Civil Rights
Political Freedom
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Grand Caledonia

Population16.696 billion

LeaderPresident John Tutugoro

CurrencyCaledonian Shilling
AnimalZealandian Moa

The Federal Socialist Republic of Grand Caledonia is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by President John Tutugoro with a fair hand, and remarkable for its multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, otherworldly petting zoo, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 16.696 billion Caledonians hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, outspoken morass — juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Canterbury. The average income tax rate is 98.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Grand Caledonian economy, worth a remarkable 2,296 trillion Caledonian Shillings a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is extremely specialized, is mostly made up of the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 137,562 Caledonian Shillings, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Evenings at university debating societies often end with everyone acknowledging both sides may well be right, five-year-olds who refuse to line up on command get gold stars, boys who take just one date to the high school prom are called 'losers', and defense lawyers suggestively note to juries how flagrantly happy victims were. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Grand Caledonia's national animal is the Zealandian Moa, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Grand Caledonia is ranked 234,686th in the world and 384th in The Leftist Assembly for Most Armed, with 0.15 Weapons Per Person.

Highest Foreign Aid Spending: 634thLeast Corrupt Governments: 874thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 953rdMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 1,132ndHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 1,208thMost Advanced Public Transport: 1,289thSafest: 1,610thMost Advanced Public Education: 1,780thLargest Welfare Programs: 1,979thHighest Average Tax Rates: 2,241stTop
Most Pacifist: 2,993rdLargest Governments: 3,430thMost Subsidized Industry: 3,500thLongest Average Lifespans: 3,574thMost Developed: 3,653rdHealthiest Citizens: 4,422ndMost Beautiful Environments: 4,510thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 4,524thMost Cheerful Citizens: 4,633rdNicest Citizens: 4,858thBest Weather: 5,011thMost Compassionate Citizens: 5,046thMost Inclusive: 6,570thSmartest Citizens: 6,773rdLowest Crime Rates: 6,924thHighest Economic Output: 6,996thMost Rebellious Youth: 8,765thHighest Poor Incomes: 9,414thMost Cultured: 9,701stTop
Most Efficient Economies: 12,786thLargest Populations: 12,852ndMost Secular: 15,882ndMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 17,339thHighest Average Incomes: 17,407thMost Politically Free: 20,622nd
Largest Populations: 10th in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 11th in the regionSafest: 12th in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 12th in the regionLeast Corrupt Governments: 13th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 14th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 15th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 19th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 22nd in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 23rd in the regionHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 24th in the regionTop
Highest Average Tax Rates: 25th in the regionLargest Governments: 26th in the regionMost Politically Free: 33rd in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 34th in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 37th in the regionMost Developed: 39th in the regionMost Pacifist: 41st in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 42nd in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 44th in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 45th in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 45th in the regionMost Cheerful Citizens: 46th in the regionBest Weather: 49th in the region

National Happenings

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