The Holy Empire of Gortolomew is a massive, safe nation, ruled by Gort with a fair hand, and remarkable for its rampant corporate plagiarism, absence of drug laws, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic population of 1.007 billion Gortos hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The large, liberal, outspoken government prioritizes Industry, although Education, Environment, and Welfare are also considered important, while Spirituality and Defense are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Capy. The average income tax rate is 49.0%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Gorto economy, worth 77.3 trillion Yuzus a year, is led by the Book Publishing industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Trout Farming, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Black market activity is frequent. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 76,800 Yuzus, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.5 times as much as the poorest.

Children have taken to using semaphore in light of the recent mobile phone ban, the bonfire of the old paper records can be seen for miles around Capy, Max Barry is this year's Miss Gortolomew, and nude art is becoming wildly popular. Crime is totally unknown. Gortolomew's national animal is the Capybara, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Gortolomew is ranked 135,949^th in the world and 2,821^st in the Rejected Realms for Most Primitive, scoring -40.06 on the Scary Big Number Scale.