The Holy Empire of Gordfield is a large, orderly nation, renowned for its frequent executions, fear of technology, and ritual sacrifices. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, devout population of 67 million Lasgn lovers are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, pro-business, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Spirituality, Defense, and Law & Order. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 35.9%.

The thriving Lasgn loverian economy, worth 4.76 trillion Lasagns a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Gambling, Uranium Mining, and Pizza Delivery. Black market activity is frequent. Average income is 71,064 Lasagns, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 304,755 per year while the poor average 10,606, a ratio of 28.7 to 1.

Economists confusingly list "fusarium rot and leaf blight" as major risk factors for monetary deflation, god-fearing citizens can be seen in prayer circles around the Big Max impact crater, meetings are often scheduled for "about four-ish" following complete conversion to sundials, and drivers regularly pull over for nonexistent police cars. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Gordfield's national animal is the Odie, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Gordfield is ranked 49,029^th in the world and 8^th in The Twin Cities for Most Cultured, scoring 69 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.