by Max Barry

Latest Forum Topics


Most Primitive: 1,266th Most Ignorant Citizens: 1,300th Most Devout: 1,868th
The Holy Empire of
Corporate Police State
Give me lasgn or give me deathpactio
Holy Being of Laziness
Civil Rights
Political Freedom
Unheard Of

Overview Factbook Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards


Population434 million

CapitalJons house


The Holy Empire of Gordfield is a huge, efficient nation, remarkable for its anti-smoking policies, fear of technology, and ubiquitous missile silos. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, devout population of 434 million Lasgn lovers are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.

The medium-sized, corrupt, pro-business, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Spirituality, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Jons house. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 34.0%.

The frighteningly efficient Lasgn loverian economy, worth 43.8 trillion Lasagns a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Retail, Uranium Mining, and Gambling. Black market activity is frequent. Average income is an impressive 100,946 Lasagns, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 466,820 per year while the poor average 13,169, a ratio of 35.4 to 1.

The police force is rumoured to be made up of evil shadows with no souls, police officers that upset their bosses get assigned to 24 hour stakeouts of bike sheds, big game hunters travel to Gordfield to try their hand at shark-shooting, and colonial citizens are forced to sing the praise of the "Great Lasgn loverian Liberator". Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Gordfield's national animal is the Odie, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Gordfield is ranked 5,333rd in the world and 6th in Lardyland for Highest Unexpected Death Rate, scoring 173.74 on the Bus Surprisal Index.

Most Primitive: 1,266thMost Ignorant Citizens: 1,300thTop
Most Devout: 1,868thFattest Citizens: 3,756thLargest Retail Industry: 5,265thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 5,333rdMost Avoided: 5,375thLargest Mining Sector: 6,713thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 6,761stTop
Largest Pizza Delivery Sector: 9,353rdGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 9,390thMost Corrupt Governments: 9,852ndLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 10,110thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 10,739thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 11,537thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 12,239thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 14,366thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 15,831st
Most Ignorant Citizens: 1st in the regionMost Devout: 1st in the regionTop
Most Primitive: 3rd in the regionFattest Citizens: 5th in the regionTop
Largest Retail Industry: 6th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 6th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 6th in the regionMost Avoided: 6th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 7th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 7th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 8th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 8th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 9th in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 10th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:


World Assembly

Endorsements Received: 4 » United Dank Meme, Pinochet Executionists, Sung il meat, and Finlands Mid Region.

View Forum posts