The Holy Empire of Gordfield is a huge, efficient nation, ruled by The High and Mighty Gordfield with an iron fist, and notable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, ubiquitous missile silos, and enslaved workforce. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 831 million Lasgn lovers are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Law & Order, Spirituality, and Industry also on the agenda, while Social Policy and Welfare aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Jons house. The average income tax rate is 51.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Lasgn loverian economy, worth 105 trillion Lasagns a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized black market in Arms Manufacturing, Retail, Uranium Mining, and Woodchip Exports. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 126,393 Lasagns, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.6 times as much as the poorest.

Citizens who become homeless are immediately executed, organ donation rates are among the lowest in the region, the government has awarded itself a month-long holiday to celebrate its achievements, and the nation's soldiers sleep four to a bed in order to use space economically. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force. Gordfield's national animal is the Odie, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Gordfield is ranked 24,352^nd in the world and 14^th in Lardyland for Most Efficient Economies, scoring 96.77 on the Krugman-Greenspan Business Outlook Index.