The Holy Empire of Gordfield is a huge, efficient nation, remarkable for its anti-smoking policies, fear of technology, and ubiquitous missile silos. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, devout population of 434 million Lasgn lovers are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.

The medium-sized, corrupt, pro-business, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Spirituality, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Jons house. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 34.0%.

The frighteningly efficient Lasgn loverian economy, worth 43.8 trillion Lasagns a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Retail, Uranium Mining, and Gambling. Black market activity is frequent. Average income is an impressive 100,946 Lasagns, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 466,820 per year while the poor average 13,169, a ratio of 35.4 to 1.

The police force is rumoured to be made up of evil shadows with no souls, police officers that upset their bosses get assigned to 24 hour stakeouts of bike sheds, big game hunters travel to Gordfield to try their hand at shark-shooting, and colonial citizens are forced to sing the praise of the "Great Lasgn loverian Liberator". Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Gordfield's national animal is the Odie, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Gordfield is ranked 5,333^rd in the world and 6^th in Lardyland for Highest Unexpected Death Rate, scoring 173.74 on the Bus Surprisal Index.