by Max Barry

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Most Ignorant Citizens: 664th Most Devout: 1,074th Most Primitive: 1,124th
The Holy Empire of
Iron Fist Consumerists
Give me lasgn or give me deathpactio
Minister of Internal Conduct
Civil Rights
Unheard Of
Political Freedom
Unheard Of

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards


Population831 million

CapitalJons house
LeaderThe High and Mighty Gordfield


The Holy Empire of Gordfield is a huge, efficient nation, ruled by The High and Mighty Gordfield with an iron fist, and notable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, ubiquitous missile silos, and enslaved workforce. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 831 million Lasgn lovers are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Law & Order, Spirituality, and Industry also on the agenda, while Social Policy and Welfare aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Jons house. The average income tax rate is 51.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Lasgn loverian economy, worth 105 trillion Lasagns a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized black market in Arms Manufacturing, Retail, Uranium Mining, and Woodchip Exports. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 126,393 Lasagns, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.6 times as much as the poorest.

Citizens who become homeless are immediately executed, organ donation rates are among the lowest in the region, the government has awarded itself a month-long holiday to celebrate its achievements, and the nation's soldiers sleep four to a bed in order to use space economically. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force. Gordfield's national animal is the Odie, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Gordfield is ranked 24,352nd in the world and 14th in Lardyland for Most Efficient Economies, scoring 96.77 on the Krugman-Greenspan Business Outlook Index.

Most Ignorant Citizens: 664thMost Devout: 1,074thMost Primitive: 1,124thTop
Most Politically Apathetic Citizens: 2,744thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 2,763rdHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 2,886thFattest Citizens: 3,264thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 3,755thMost Avoided: 4,126thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 4,293rdMost Corrupt Governments: 4,544thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 4,561stLargest Mining Sector: 4,895thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 5,089thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 7,944thLargest Retail Industry: 8,325thTop
Most Conservative: 9,471stMost World Assembly Endorsements: 9,476thLargest Black Market: 10,579thMost Authoritarian: 15,555th
Most Advanced Defense Forces: 1st in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 1st in the regionMost Devout: 1st in the regionTop
Largest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 2nd in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 2nd in the regionMost Primitive: 3rd in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 3rd in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 4th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 5th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 5th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 6th in the regionLargest Black Market: 6th in the regionFattest Citizens: 6th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 7th in the regionMost Avoided: 7th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 7th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 7th in the regionMost Influential: 8th in the regionTop
Most World Assembly Endorsements: 9th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 10th in the regionLargest Governments: 10th in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 11th in the regionMost Conservative: 12th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 14th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 15th in the regionMost Stationary: 15th in the regionMost Authoritarian: 16th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:


World Assembly

Endorsements Received: 6 » DUO THE GOD, Pinochet Executionists, United Dank Meme, Monstrosities, Elmos World 2-0, and Skolgard.

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