The People's Republic of Gopnikistan is a massive, cultured nation, ruled by Dimon Hardbassov with an even hand, and notable for its compulsory military service, free-roaming dinosaurs, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed population of 2.087 billion Gopniks are prohibited from doing almost everything except voting, which they do timidly and conservatively.

The enormous, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Hardbass City. The average income tax rate is 76.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The strong Gopnik economy, worth 159 trillion Rubles a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is led by the Trout Farming industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Arms Manufacturing, and Information Technology. Average income is 76,298 Rubles, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The government has officially clarified that "wee on your hands to save time" does not count as proper hygiene, the number of judges has tripled in recent months, sexually-starved male dinosaurs terrorise tourists during weekly breakouts from Mesozoic Park, and citizens live in superstitious fear of the mysterious glowing clouds that float over Gopnikistan. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Gopnikistan's national animal is the Hardbass bear, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Gopnikistan is ranked 34,855^th in the world and 8^th in The West Reborn for Most Secular, with 35.15 Atheism Rate.