The Nine Hells of Gopnikea is a colossal, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Nikola Hadares with an iron fist, and notable for its ubiquitous missile silos, otherworldly petting zoo, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, cheerful, devout population of 6.722 billion Sepulcrists are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Strateigor. The average income tax rate is 95.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Sepulcrisian economy, worth a remarkable 2,600 trillion Preciznosts a year, is fairly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Tourism, Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, and Book Publishing. Average income is an amazing 386,874 Preciznosts, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.8 times as much as the poorest.

Social care for the elderly consists of a self help leaflet and a kick on the backside, if a tree falls in the forest and nobody is there to hear it... Sepulcrisian satellites can detect it, citizens are allowed to rise or fall based on their own merits, and it's not mass murder when the government does it. Crime is totally unknown. Gopnikea's national animal is the Osmius, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Misanthropy.

Gopnikea is ranked 69,283^rd in the world and 212^th in Confederation of Corrupt Dictators for Most Advanced Law Enforcement, scoring 2,277.4 on the Orwell Orderliness Index.