The Nine Hells of Gopnikea is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by Nikola Hadares with an iron fist, and notable for its deadly medical pandemics, free-roaming dinosaurs, and otherworldly petting zoo. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, cheerful, devout population of 6.549 billion Sepulcrists are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Strateigor. The average income tax rate is 95.0%.

The frighteningly efficient Sepulcrisian economy, worth a remarkable 2,498 trillion Preciznosts a year, is fairly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Tourism, Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, and Book Publishing. Average income is an amazing 381,480 Preciznosts, with the richest citizens earning 7.7 times as much as the poorest.

Corporations claim the third ounce of any metal traded in a wicker-cone on the Sunday of a full moon as a charitable expense, pirates armed with sonar-guided semi-autonomous torpedos and laser weapons systems are often seen capturing fishing trawlers, the homeless more often beg for mercy than money, and annual government budgets include a sizeable spend on "making things look fabulous". Crime is totally unknown. Gopnikea's national animal is the Osmius, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Misanthropy.

Gopnikea is ranked 2,534^th in the world and 20^th in Confederation of Corrupt Dictators for Most Armed, with 13.77 Weapons Per Person.