by Max Barry

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Largest Basket Weaving Sector: 524thLargest Black Market: 567thLargest Publishing Industry: 694th
The Nine Hells of
Iron Fist Consumerists
Decimation towards impurity
Influence
Sprat
Civil Rights
Unheard Of
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Unheard Of

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Gopnikea

Population9.711 billion

CapitalStrateigor
LeaderNikola Hadares
FaithSepulcrisian paganism

CurrencyKuurakas
AnimalOsmiurk

The Nine Hells of Gopnikea is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Nikola Hadares with an iron fist, and notable for its keen interest in outer space, frequent executions, and sprawling nuclear power plants. The hard-nosed, cynical, cheerful, devout population of 9.711 billion Sepulcrists are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Strateigor. The average income tax rate is 95.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Sepulcrisian economy, worth a remarkable 4,086 trillion Kuurakas a year, is broadly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Information Technology, Tourism, Arms Manufacturing, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 420,768 Kuurakas, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.9 times as much as the poorest.

Police drones follow every suspected Peeping Tom, teens reminisce about when birthdays weren't celebrated with a cool glass of cabbage juice and a slice of corn-cream topped millet cake, fancy dress parties are raided by military police for new recruits, and the military is recruiting war criminals to join its weapons research teams. Crime is totally unknown, despite the fact that it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many laws. Gopnikea's national animal is the Osmiurk, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Sepulcrisian paganism.

Gopnikea is ranked 1,110th in the world and 6th in The Black Hawks for Largest Pizza Delivery Sector, scoring 10,630.39 on the Pepperoni Propulsion Productivity Index.

Top
1%
Largest Basket Weaving Sector: 524thLargest Black Market: 567thLargest Publishing Industry: 694thHighest Average Incomes: 765thMost Subsidized Industry: 770thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 860thMost Advanced Public Education: 1,071stLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 1,110thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 1,135thHighest Poor Incomes: 1,214thMost Cultured: 1,419thMost Efficient Economies: 1,649thLargest Information Technology Sector: 1,790thMost Corrupt Governments: 1,880thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 1,988thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 2,039thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 2,166thMost Armed: 2,260thMost Patriotic: 2,734thMost Advanced Public Transport: 2,808thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 2,813thTop
5%
Largest Retail Industry: 2,956thLargest Governments: 3,034thMost Developed: 3,512thHighest Food Quality: 3,589thHighest Economic Output: 3,728thMost Scientifically Advanced: 3,740thSmartest Citizens: 3,787thMost Cheerful Citizens: 3,813thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 4,124thMost Devout: 4,611thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 4,643rdMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 4,914thHighest Average Tax Rates: 4,975thMost Beautiful Environments: 5,460thMost Rebellious Youth: 6,387thMost Inclusive: 6,572ndMost Influential: 6,646thMost Valuable International Artwork: 8,347thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 8,580thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 9,626thLongest Average Lifespans: 13,542ndTop
10%
Most Authoritarian: 18,114thMost Conservative: 21,616thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 21,625thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 23,850thFattest Citizens: 27,135thLowest Crime Rates: 27,196th
Top
1%
Largest Publishing Industry: 1st in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 2nd in the regionMost Cultured: 2nd in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 2nd in the regionHighest Food Quality: 2nd in the regionMost Cheerful Citizens: 3rd in the regionLargest Black Market: 3rd in the regionTop
5%
Most Developed: 4th in the regionMost Influential: 4th in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 4th in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 4th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 4th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 4th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 4th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 4th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 5th in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 5th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 5th in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 5th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 6th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 6th in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 6th in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 6th in the regionMost Inclusive: 7th in the regionLargest Governments: 8th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 9th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 9th in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 9th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 11th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 12th in the regionMost Armed: 12th in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 13th in the regionMost Patriotic: 16th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 17th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 18th in the regionTop
10%
Longest Average Lifespans: 20th in the regionMost Devout: 22nd in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 23rd in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 25th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 31st in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 32nd in the regionLargest Populations: 33rd in the regionFattest Citizens: 33rd in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 34th in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 35th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Gopnikea, the military is recruiting war criminals to join its weapons research teams.
  • : Following new legislation in Gopnikea, fancy dress parties are raided by military police for new recruits.
  • : Following new legislation in Gopnikea, teens reminisce about when birthdays weren't celebrated with a cool glass of cabbage juice and a slice of corn-cream topped millet cake.
  • : Gopnikea was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Most Advanced Public Transport and the Top 10% for Lowest Crime Rates.
  • : Following new legislation in Gopnikea, police drones follow every suspected Peeping Tom.
  • : Gopnikea was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Longest Average Lifespans.
  • : Following new legislation in Gopnikea, the Man in the Plastic Mask has been imprisoned in the Capital Penitentiary.
  • : Following new legislation in Gopnikea, citizens wishing to leave the country must surrender half their wealth to the government.
  • : Following new legislation in Gopnikea, panicking criminals no longer flush contraband down the toilet.
  • : Following new legislation in Gopnikea, life expectancies inside correctional facilities vastly exceed the national average.

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