The Nine Hells of Gopnikea is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Nikola Hadares with an iron fist, and notable for its keen interest in outer space, frequent executions, and sprawling nuclear power plants. The hard-nosed, cynical, cheerful, devout population of 9.711 billion Sepulcrists are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Strateigor. The average income tax rate is 95.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Sepulcrisian economy, worth a remarkable 4,086 trillion Kuurakas a year, is broadly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Information Technology, Tourism, Arms Manufacturing, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 420,768 Kuurakas, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.9 times as much as the poorest.

Police drones follow every suspected Peeping Tom, teens reminisce about when birthdays weren't celebrated with a cool glass of cabbage juice and a slice of corn-cream topped millet cake, fancy dress parties are raided by military police for new recruits, and the military is recruiting war criminals to join its weapons research teams. Crime is totally unknown, despite the fact that it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many laws. Gopnikea's national animal is the Osmiurk, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Sepulcrisian paganism.

Gopnikea is ranked 1,110^th in the world and 6^th in The Black Hawks for Largest Pizza Delivery Sector, scoring 10,630.39 on the Pepperoni Propulsion Productivity Index.