by Max Barry

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Largest Publishing Industry: 23rdHighest Crime Rates: 48thMost Rebellious Youth: 50th
The Banner Hunting Big Thonkers of
Iron Fist Consumerists
home of the rly big thonk
Influence
Minnow
Region
Civil Rights
Rare
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Few

Overview Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Golgothastan

Population22.395 billion

CapitalSćglópur
LeaderBort Chocowitz
Faiththonking

Currencyflugufrelsarinn
Animalbat

The Banner Hunting Big Thonkers of Golgothastan is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Bort Chocowitz with an iron fist, and notable for its infamous sell-swords, parental licensing program, and national health service. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, cheerful, devout population of 22.395 billion Golgothastanis are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The tiny, corrupt, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Healthcare, Education, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Sćglópur. The average income tax rate is 5.9%.

The frighteningly efficient Golgothastani economy, worth a remarkable 2,865 trillion flugufrelsarinns a year, is highly specialized and mostly made up of the Book Publishing industry, with significant contributions from Trout Farming and Retail. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 127,945 flugufrelsarinns, with the richest citizens earning 5.3 times as much as the poorest.

Many Golgothastanis twitch nervously at the sight of nuns, former bars are desperately trying to re-brand themselves as cafés, Bort Chocowitz's told that love often manifests itself through homicidal four-lettered litanies, and advertisers are struggling to make water sound cool to a twitchy public. Crime, especially youth-related, is so common that it is unusual to encounter someone following the law, probably because of the absence of a police force. Golgothastan's national animal is the bat, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is thonking.

Golgothastan is ranked 214,333rd in the world and 440th in Forest for Largest Insurance Industry, scoring -40.39 on the Risk Expulsion Effectiveness Rating.

Top
1%
Largest Publishing Industry: 23rdHighest Crime Rates: 48thMost Rebellious Youth: 50thMost Armed: 72ndMost Avoided: 227thMost Cheerful Citizens: 492ndHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 646thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 1,352ndSmartest Citizens: 1,890thTop
5%
Nudest: 2,679thMost Devout: 3,426thHighest Disposable Incomes: 4,183rdLargest Black Market: 4,873rdHighest Economic Output: 5,397thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 5,672ndLargest Populations: 5,990thMost Corrupt Governments: 7,778thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 7,923rdLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 7,939thRudest Citizens: 8,307thMost Efficient Economies: 10,141stTop
10%
Most Beautiful Environments: 16,128thHighest Average Incomes: 20,342ndLargest Retail Industry: 20,722nd
Top
1%
Highest Crime Rates: 1st in the regionMost Armed: 2nd in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 2nd in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 3rd in the regionMost Avoided: 4th in the regionTop
5%
Highest Unexpected Death Rate: 8th in the regionNudest: 8th in the regionLargest Populations: 11th in the regionMost Cheerful Citizens: 12th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 12th in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 16th in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 16th in the regionLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 22nd in the regionTop
10%
Largest Black Market: 23rd in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 25th in the regionMost Devout: 29th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 30th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 31st in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Golgothastan, advertisers are struggling to make water sound cool to a twitchy public.
  • : Following new legislation in Golgothastan, Bort Chocowitz's told that love often manifests itself through homicidal four-lettered litanies.
  • : Following new legislation in Golgothastan, former bars are desperately trying to re-brand themselves as cafés.
  • : Following new legislation in Golgothastan, many Golgothastanis twitch nervously at the sight of nuns.
  • : Following new legislation in Golgothastan, with great power generation comes great responsibility.
  • : Golgothastan was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Largest Retail Industry.
  • : Following new legislation in Golgothastan, no suburban lawn is complete without barbed wire and landmines.
  • : Following new legislation in Golgothastan, being wrong on the internet has been classified as digital terrorism.
  • : Golgothastan was reclassified from "Moralistic Democracy" to "Iron Fist Consumerists".
  • : Following new legislation in Golgothastan, asking 'does my bum look big in this?' leads to 30 hours of self-esteem classes.

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