by Max Barry

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Most Secular: 5,301stLargest Agricultural Sector: 8,381stSafest: 11,158th
The United Socialist Republics of
Psychotic Dictatorship
Ugh! Capitalists!
Comrade Markilov
Founder / Supreme Commissar
Civil Rights
Unheard Of
Political Freedom

Overview Factbook Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards


Population2.163 billion

LeaderComrade Markilov
FaithEnforced Atheism

AnimalIrrational Slav

The United Socialist Republics of Golga is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by Comrade Markilov with an iron fist, and notable for its keen interest in outer space, devotion to social welfare, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, cynical population of 2.163 billion Slavs are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Katzgrad. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 75.8%.

The strong Golgan economy, worth 161 trillion Rubles a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Beef-Based Agriculture, Book Publishing, and Arms Manufacturing. Average income is 74,875 Rubles, with the richest citizens earning 5.5 times as much as the poorest.

Third world countries are rich in "I Love Katzgrad" t-shirts, Comrade Markilov has just been declared ruler of Golga in an international press conference, the government's official stance on religion is that it is so very silly, and the military has gone fission for more funding. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Golga's national animal is the Irrational Slav, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Enforced Atheism.

Golga is ranked 19,885th in the world and 1st in The Seven Nation Army for Healthiest Citizens, with 10.42 bananas ingested per day.

Most Secular: 5,301stLargest Agricultural Sector: 8,381stSafest: 11,158thMost Authoritarian: 11,281stTop
Highest Workforce Participation Rate: 16,864thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 17,008thMost Valuable International Artwork: 17,943rdMost Patriotic: 18,569thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 18,876thLowest Crime Rates: 19,308thHealthiest Citizens: 19,885thHighest Average Tax Rates: 20,075thMost Conservative: 21,054thMost Pacifist: 21,776thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 23,231stLongest Average Lifespans: 24,775thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 24,808th

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity: