by Max Barry

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Largest Welfare Programs: 2,332ndSafest: 3,123rdHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 3,287th
The United Socialist States of
Left-wing Utopia
No gods no masters
Civil Rights
Political Freedom
World Benchmark

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Goldman Luxemburg

Population8.423 billion



The United Socialist States of Goldman Luxemburg is a colossal, socially progressive nation, renowned for its complete lack of prisons, daily referendums, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, democratic population of 8.423 billion Spartacustois are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The enormous, socially-minded, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Welfare, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Metropolis. The average income tax rate is 94.0%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Spartacustoi economy, worth a remarkable 1,045 trillion rubles a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is fairly diversified, is dominated by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Uranium Mining. Average income is an impressive 124,173 rubles, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Animal liberationists receive government funding to break into animal research labs, rugby players that knock each other over always stop to make sure the other fellow is okay, going on a diet invalidates your passport, and the nation grinds to a halt on the anniversary of every marginally noteworthy event. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Goldman Luxemburg's national animal is the tiger, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Goldman Luxemburg is ranked 260,868th in the world and 6,788th in Balder for Highest Crime Rates, with 1.7 crimes per hour.

Largest Welfare Programs: 2,332ndTop
Safest: 3,123rdHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 3,287thHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 3,377thLeast Corrupt Governments: 4,278thMost Compassionate Citizens: 5,628thNicest Citizens: 6,030thHighest Average Tax Rates: 6,278thMost Inclusive: 6,955thMost Advanced Public Transport: 7,066thMost Pacifist: 7,311thLowest Crime Rates: 9,571stMost Developed: 9,607thHighest Poor Incomes: 9,680thLargest Governments: 9,842ndMost Advanced Public Education: 10,434thLongest Average Lifespans: 10,437thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 11,204thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 11,715thMost Subsidized Industry: 12,451stSmartest Citizens: 12,735thHighest Food Quality: 13,168thTop
Healthiest Citizens: 13,629thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 14,557thMost Secular: 15,955thMost Cheerful Citizens: 16,590thLargest Information Technology Sector: 17,207thMost Income Equality: 17,738thMost Scientifically Advanced: 19,199thHighest Economic Output: 20,010thMost Beautiful Environments: 23,123rdMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 23,786thHighest Average Incomes: 24,163rdMost Efficient Economies: 25,324thMost Politically Free: 26,013th
Largest Welfare Programs: 95th in the regionSafest: 123rd in the regionHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 125th in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 172nd in the regionLeast Corrupt Governments: 193rd in the regionMost Politically Free: 219th in the regionMost Compassionate Citizens: 232nd in the regionNicest Citizens: 252nd in the regionMost Inclusive: 289th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 291st in the regionTop
Most Pacifist: 376th in the regionMost Income Equality: 407th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 416th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 449th in the regionMost Developed: 452nd in the regionLargest Governments: 484th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 490th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 495th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 502nd in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 502nd in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 509th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 601st in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 625th in the regionHighest Food Quality: 684th in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 702nd in the region

National Happenings

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