The Free Land of Golden Magnolias is a massive, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Jeff Davis with a fair hand, and renowned for its irreverence towards religion and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 3.988 billion Golden Magnoliasians live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The minute, liberal, pro-business government, or what there is of one, prioritizes Law & Order, with Education, Industry, and Administration also on the agenda, while Spirituality and International Aid receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Honeysuckle. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 4.6%.

The thriving Golden Magnoliasian economy, worth 296 trillion Magnolia Blossoms a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is fairly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Gambling, Uranium Mining, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Average income is 74,398 Magnolia Blossoms, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 220,557 per year while the poor average 19,699, a ratio of 11.2 to 1.

A death threat has replaced 'hello' as an official greeting in the nation, schoolchildren learn an R-rated version of "Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes", artificial intelligences seeking exciting work are overcome with ennui, and populations of two-headed Honey Bees have been found around recently-uncovered archaeological sites. Crime, especially youth-related, is a serious problem, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Golden Magnolias's national animal is the Honey Bee, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Filthy Lucre.

Golden Magnolias is ranked 262,978^th in the world and 11^th in The Democratika for Lowest Crime Rates, with 43.69 law-abiding acts per hour.