The United People's Herd of Goat Republic is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by Eros Faelix Kazeno with an iron fist, and remarkable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, free-roaming dinosaurs, and zero percent divorce rate. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 2.441 billion Goatians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Katsika. The average income tax rate is 93.8%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Goatian economy, worth 557 trillion Guldbocks a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Retail. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 228,206 Guldbocks, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.6 times as much as the poorest.

Politicians look weirdly alike, jaywalking will put an end to a family tree, fitness to teach sport is proven by urinating the furthest up a wall, and Court TV ratings have skyrocketed now that executions are filmed on location. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Goat Republic's national animal is the Goat, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is The Vast Personality Cult of the Leader.

Goat Republic is ranked 274,224^th in the world and 5,644^th in The East Pacific for Healthiest Citizens, with 0.56 bananas ingested per day.