The Burly Fuzz Country of GirlyBoy Texas is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Sheriff Bobby Bob-Jim Swisher with an iron fist, and remarkable for its zero percent divorce rate, restrictive gun laws, and labour-free parental leave. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 17.799 billion Cubs are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The enormous, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Mount Cubby. The average income tax rate is 88.3%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Bear Seeker economy, worth a remarkable 2,373 trillion Metrics of Exchange a year, is led by the Retail industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Gambling. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 133,368 Metrics of Exchange, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.0 times as much as the poorest.

There has been a series of riots between local cannibals and health food advocates, strange lights seen in the sky are officially regarded as weather balloons or hoaxes and nothing else, adverts proclaim it has to be healthy if the Mornay uses hand-grated Gallopavian Gruyère, and witches' brews set off Geiger counters. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. GirlyBoy Texas's national animal is the Bear Cub, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Phallicadorationism.

GirlyBoy Texas is ranked 45,995^th in the world and 15^th in Texas for Most Authoritarian, with 1,889.46 milliStalins.