by Max Barry

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Most Valuable International Artwork: 52ndLeast Corrupt Governments: 6,681stMost Pacifist: 7,238th
The Federated Giraffe State of
Liberal Democratic Socialists
Praise to all giraffes
Influence
Envoy
Governor / Card Collector and Curator
Civil Rights
Excellent
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Superb

Overview Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Giraffeton

Population5.177 billion

CapitalGiraffeton City
LeaderProfessional Giraffe

CurrencyGiraffereum
AnimalGiraffe

The Federated Giraffe State of Giraffeton is a colossal, socially progressive nation, ruled by Professional Giraffe with a fair hand, and notable for its ubiquitous missile silos, vat-grown people, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, democratic population of 5.177 billion Giraffetonians love a good election, and the government gives them plenty of them. Universities tend to be full of students debating the merits of various civil and political rights, while businesses are tightly regulated and the wealthy viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Giraffeton City. The average income tax rate is 66.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Giraffetonian economy, worth 567 trillion Giraffereums a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing, Tourism, and Furniture Restoration. Average income is an impressive 109,652 Giraffereums, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

A passport is literally priceless, the comic book series 'Professional Giraffe and the Villainous Corporate Cronies' is a best-seller, teenagers performing appendectomies on their friends has become a popular schoolyard prank, and Giraffeton City spends billions upgrading public transport. Crime is totally unknown. Giraffeton's national animal is the Giraffe, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Giraffeton is ranked 59,341st in the world and 16th in The Giraffe Federation for Lowest Crime Rates, with 71.87 law-abiding acts per hour.

Top
1%
Most Valuable International Artwork: 52ndTop
5%
Least Corrupt Governments: 6,681stMost Pacifist: 7,238thLargest Publishing Industry: 8,141stHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 8,776thMost Inclusive: 11,070thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 12,806thLargest Information Technology Sector: 12,870thMost Secular: 13,423rdHighest Food Quality: 13,673rdMost Compassionate Citizens: 14,204thSmartest Citizens: 15,338thTop
10%
Most Scientifically Advanced: 15,634thLongest Average Lifespans: 16,596thMost Developed: 17,141stNicest Citizens: 17,704thMost Advanced Public Education: 17,792ndMost Beautiful Environments: 19,013thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 20,126thHighest Poor Incomes: 20,129thMost Cultured: 20,352ndSafest: 20,705thHealthiest Citizens: 20,860thLargest Welfare Programs: 21,625thMost Rebellious Youth: 23,769thMost Influential: 26,000thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 29,058th
Top
1%
Most Valuable International Artwork: 1st in the regionMost Developed: 1st in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 1st in the regionNicest Citizens: 1st in the regionSafest: 1st in the regionHighest Drug Use: 1st in the regionHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 1st in the regionMost Pacifist: 1st in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 1st in the regionMost Influential: 1st in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 1st in the regionSmartest Citizens: 1st in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 1st in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 1st in the regionMost Compassionate Citizens: 1st in the regionMost Income Equality: 1st in the regionMost Inclusive: 1st in the regionLargest Populations: 1st in the regionMost Stationary: 1st in the regionHighest Food Quality: 1st in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 1st in the regionMost Cultured: 1st in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 1st in the regionLeast Corrupt Governments: 1st in the regionTop
5%
Most Extensive Public Healthcare: 2nd in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 2nd in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 2nd in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 2nd in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 2nd in the regionMost Extensive Civil Rights: 3rd in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 3rd in the regionMost Politically Free: 4th in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 5th in the regionBest Weather: 5th in the regionMost Secular: 5th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 5th in the regionTop
10%
Largest Governments: 6th in the regionNudest: 10th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Giraffeton, Giraffeton City spends billions upgrading public transport.
  • : Following new legislation in Giraffeton, teenagers performing appendectomies on their friends has become a popular schoolyard prank.
  • : Following new legislation in Giraffeton, the comic book series 'Professional Giraffe and the Villainous Corporate Cronies' is a best-seller.
  • : Following new legislation in Giraffeton, a passport is literally priceless.
  • : Following new legislation in Giraffeton, party affiliation is just as irrelevant as campaign promises.
  • : Giraffeton was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Highest Workforce Participation Rate and the Top 10% for Best Weather, Most Popular Tourist Destinations, and Highest Poor Incomes.
  • : Following new legislation in Giraffeton, fixing attendance at women's matches is a matter of "when they go low, we go high... funding".
  • : Following new legislation in Giraffeton, government bureaucrats shut down teenage yard-raking businesses for being counter-revolutionary.
  • : Following new legislation in Giraffeton, cows graze until the wolves come home.
  • : Following new legislation in Giraffeton, ad-blocking has been nationalised.

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