The People's Republic of Giraffehaptom is a massive, efficient nation, notable for its multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, complete lack of prisons, and state-planned economy. The hard-nosed, devout population of 1.62 billion Giraffehaptomians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Law & Order. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 50.6%.

The powerhouse Giraffehaptomian economy, worth 173 trillion Giraffereums a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, broadly diversified black market in Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, Automobile Manufacturing, and Tourism. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 106,971 Giraffereums, with the richest citizens earning 5.8 times as much as the poorest.

Houses and businesses are bulldozed to make way for ever-expanding cemeteries, babies are a small but significant export, foreign policy is to avoid standing up to bullies, and the fattest folk in Giraffehaptom look to be the happiest ones. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Giraffehaptom's national animal is the Giraffe.

Giraffehaptom is ranked 115,637^th in the world and 2^nd in The Giraffe Federation for Smartest Citizens, with 31.12 quips per hour.