by Max Barry

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Nudest: 1,912thMost Primitive: 3,116thMost Ignorant Citizens: 3,216th
The Giraffe Constituent of
Father Knows Best State
Giraffes, Giraffes, Giraffes
Influence
Vassal
Civil Rights
Some
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Rare

Overview Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Giraffabany

Population4.747 billion

CurrencyGiraffereum
AnimalGiraffe

The Giraffe Constituent of Giraffabany is a massive, orderly nation, renowned for its barren, inhospitable landscape, zero percent divorce rate, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 4.747 billion Giraffabanyians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The large, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Administration, and Law & Order. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 55.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Giraffabanyian economy, worth 446 trillion Giraffereums a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, fairly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Woodchip Exports, Uranium Mining, and Beef-Based Agriculture. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 94,038 Giraffereums, with the richest citizens earning 6.8 times as much as the poorest.

Soldiers have a preference for fire-and-forget payloads, stuttering trypanophobes are doomed never to marry, Leader is too busy listening to praise to get any work done, and the government is hoping that medical aid will speak louder than human rights abuses. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Giraffabany's national animal is the Giraffe, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Giraffabany is ranked 89,625th in the world and 22nd in The Giraffe Federation for Most Stationary, with 505.86969013208 days.

Top
1%
Nudest: 1,912thTop
5%
Most Primitive: 3,116thMost Ignorant Citizens: 3,216thMost Avoided: 7,063rdLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 7,287thLargest Mining Sector: 13,079thTop
10%
Most Politically Apathetic Citizens: 16,940thFattest Citizens: 19,327thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 21,842ndLargest Black Market: 24,180thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 25,771stLargest Manufacturing Sector: 27,605th
Top
1%
Nudest: 1st in the regionTop
5%
Most Avoided: 2nd in the regionFattest Citizens: 2nd in the regionHighest Drug Use: 3rd in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 4th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 4th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 4th in the regionTop
10%
Most Primitive: 6th in the regionHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 6th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 10th in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 10th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Giraffabany was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Most Corrupt Governments.
  • : Giraffabany was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Most Corrupt Governments.
  • : Giraffabany was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Most Corrupt Governments.
  • : Giraffabany was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Most Advanced Law Enforcement.
  • : Giraffabany was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Most Advanced Law Enforcement.
  • : Giraffabany was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Most Advanced Law Enforcement.
  • : Giraffabany was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Most Ignorant Citizens and the Top 5% for Most Politically Apathetic Citizens.
  • : Giraffabany was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Most Primitive.
  • : Giraffabany was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Most Devout.
  • : Giraffabany's influence in The Giraffe Federation fell from "Truckler" to "Vassal".

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