The Republic of Gildenshtuck is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Oliver Blue with an even hand, and renowned for its anti-smoking policies, free-roaming dinosaurs, and national health service. The hard-nosed, devout population of 1.305 billion Gildenshtuckians are prohibited from doing almost everything except voting, which they do timidly and conservatively.

The large, corrupt, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of amora. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 88.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Gildenshtuckian economy, worth 178 trillion gildens a year, is led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing, Tourism, and Arms Manufacturing. Black market activity is notable. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 136,544 gildens, with the richest citizens earning 6.3 times as much as the poorest.

The ongoing space elevator construction project has elevated the national debt to all new levels, schoolboys trained in chivalry are encouraged to duel other boys for a maiden's hand, police officers that upset their bosses get assigned to 24 hour stakeouts of bike sheds, and the banshee wail foretells skies of death. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Gildenshtuck's national animal is the falcon, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Freedom Christianity.

Gildenshtuck is ranked 14,824^th in the world and 775^th in The North Pacific for Smartest Citizens, with 74.73 quips per hour.