The Holy Grand Sovereign Empire of Gerburtsurg is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Markos Kaine with an iron fist, and remarkable for its deadly medical pandemics, compulsory vegetarianism, and frequent executions. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 19.808 billion Gerburtsurgians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, with Law & Order, Spirituality, and Industry also on the agenda, while Social Policy and Welfare receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Rortessal. The average income tax rate is 88.1%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Gerburtsurgian economy, worth a remarkable 5,013 trillion Sessolas a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, fairly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, Woodchip Exports, and Information Technology. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 253,108 Sessolas, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.8 times as much as the poorest.

Community organizers have given up going door to door because nobody is home, attempted suicide is punishable by public hanging, commuters travel in zigzags to avoid stalking accusations, and schoolchildren quote interesting facts about the square of the hypotenuse. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Gerburtsurg's national animal is the Silverfish, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to heavy metals seepage into national waterways, and its national religion is Grissian.

Gerburtsurg is ranked 13,698^th in the world and 1^st in Rumedsian Union for Most Patriotic, with 60.73 flags saluted per person per day.