The Awkward Adages of Geektopia is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by Jagino Zuperedosno with an iron fist, and renowned for its smutty television, pith helmet sales, and free-roaming dinosaurs. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 7.51 billion Kwandoites are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Mordecai. The average income tax rate is 88.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Geektopian economy, worth a remarkable 2,040 trillion cryptos a year, is fairly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Information Technology, Retail, Woodchip Exports, and Uranium Mining. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an amazing 271,749 cryptos, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.4 times as much as the poorest.

Environmental officials dismiss uncontrolled wildfires burning down major cities as nature taking its course, the new coalition government is so large nobody knows where it begins, radio shows frequently feature people denouncing religion, and the local custom of Biking With The Cars sends tourists home bemused or in body-bags. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Geektopia's national animal is the yellow-billed swan, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Math.

Geektopia is ranked 266,143^rd in the world and 989^th in Europeia for Most Patriotic, with 0.56 flags saluted per person per day.