The Awkward Adages of Geektopia is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Jagino Zuperedosno with an iron fist, and renowned for its anti-smoking policies, compulsory vegetarianism, and strictly enforced bedtime. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 7.682 billion Kwandoites are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Mordecai. The average income tax rate is 89.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Geektopian economy, worth a remarkable 2,131 trillion cryptos a year, is broadly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Information Technology, Retail, Woodchip Exports, and Uranium Mining. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an amazing 277,500 cryptos, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.7 times as much as the poorest.

Politicians live in luxury, hymns sung by popular choirs top the billboard charts, bargain-hunting is considered unpatriotic, and religious bigotry and a fear of outsiders have replaced religious studies in schools. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Geektopia's national animal is the yellow-billed swan, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Math.

Geektopia is ranked 255,860^th in the world and 1,034^th in Europeia for Healthiest Citizens, with 0.48 bananas ingested per day.