The Consumerist Zombie Horde of Gargolia is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by CEO McGargoyle with a fair hand, and notable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, pith helmet sales, and irreverence towards religion. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, humorless population of 17.195 billion Gargolians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The minute, corrupt government, or what there is of one, juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Gargopolis. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Gargolian economy, worth a remarkable 3,788 trillion Gold Crowns a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Retail, Automobile Manufacturing, and Book Publishing. Average income is an amazing 220,323 Gold Crowns, with the richest citizens earning 6.0 times as much as the poorest.

Dozens of viewers go online to hear whether a comma has been added to Clause 5 in Subsection B of Law 58375, courtrooms can be a little sketchy, the government recently donated a surfboard to an impoverished family in a landlocked region, and where there's a will there is usually a password manager. Crime, especially youth-related, is pervasive, probably because of the absence of a police force. Gargolia's national animal is the eagle, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution.

Gargolia is ranked 239,540^th in the world and 8^th in The Atheist Empire for Most Primitive, scoring -484.64 on the Scary Big Number Scale.