The Constitutional Monarchy of Free Las Pinas is a huge, socially progressive nation, ruled by Imperator Christopher Guzman with a fair hand, and remarkable for its complete lack of prisons, otherworldly petting zoo, and irreverence towards religion. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic population of 750 million Las Piñeroes hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The tiny, corrupt, liberal, outspoken government prioritizes Industry, with Education, Administration, and Welfare also on the agenda, while Spirituality and Defense are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Piñeapolis. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 9.9%.

The frighteningly efficient Las Piñero economy, worth 97.1 trillion Philippine Pesos a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Retail, and Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 129,453 Philippine Pesos, with the richest citizens earning 7.9 times as much as the poorest.

The wreckages of bombed planes that litter Free Las Pinas are highly popular tourist destinations, schoolchildren learn an R-rated version of "Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes", the government's new priority is citizens' access to cat videos, and even the most lowly council pen-pusher has the same political power as a senior minister. Crime is a problem, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Free Las Pinas's national animal is the Bright Pegasus, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

Free Las Pinas is ranked 4,744^th in the world and 86^th in 10000 Islands for Rudest Citizens, with 146.32 Insults Per Minute.