The Glorious Financial Empire of FiTzGEraLdLAnD is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Grand Nagus Big Boi Vermin Supreme with an iron fist, and notable for its pith helmet sales, otherworldly petting zoo, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 8.736 billion FiTzGEraLdLAnDians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The relatively small, corrupt, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, although Law & Order, Industry, and Education are also considered important, while Welfare and Environment are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Black Church. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 18.4%.

The frighteningly efficient FiTzGEraLdLAnDian economy, worth a remarkable 1,703 trillion Smooth n Silky Platypuses a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is an impressive 194,991 Smooth n Silky Platypuses, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,320,334 per year while the poor average 10,606, a ratio of 124 to 1.

Laser-wielding robots are taking aim at human hearts, Dogman-branded weapons are all the rage in the militaristic comic-book community, a survey of the nation's rivers and children has shown that pesticide levels are at an all-time regional high, and patriotic citizens chant "there's only one FiTzGEraLdLAnD" at foreigners. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. FiTzGEraLdLAnD's national animal is the Space Cow Squid Thing, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to heavy metals seepage into national waterways, and its national religion is Pink n Blue Lobster With A Weeve.

FiTzGEraLdLAnD is ranked 24,707^th in the world and 555^th in the Rejected Realms for Lowest Crime Rates, with 77.18 Law-abiding Acts Per Hour.