by Max Barry

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Largest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 89thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 126thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 208th
The Dictatorship of
Iron Fist Consumerists
It's not illegal when we do it.
Influence
Nipper
Civil Rights
Unheard Of
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Outlawed

Overview Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Firzograd

Population7.689 billion

CapitalFirzograd City
LeaderGeneral Caradoc
FaithCaradoc Worship

CurrencyRuble
AnimalCrow

The Dictatorship of Firzograd is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by General Caradoc with an iron fist, and notable for its zero percent divorce rate, keen interest in outer space, and frequent executions. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 7.689 billion Firzogradians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, with Law & Order and Industry also on the agenda, while Social Policy and Welfare receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Firzograd City. The average income tax rate is 94.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Firzogradian economy, worth a remarkable 3,348 trillion Rubles a year, is broadly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Retail, and Uranium Mining. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an amazing 435,468 Rubles, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.7 times as much as the poorest.

The nation operates a "finders-keepers" policy with other nations' citizens, government ministers claim to ride dragons to work, the line of people waiting for a visa interview in front of foreign embassies is typically a mile long, and schoolchildren must pass a six-month Ethics and Safety Committee Assessment before they are allowed to mix baking soda and vinegar. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Firzograd's national animal is the Crow, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Caradoc Worship.

Firzograd is ranked 9,793rd in the world and 530th in The North Pacific for Most Conservative, scoring 89.25 on the Bush-Santorum Dawning Terror Index.

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1%
Largest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 89thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 126thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 208thMost Corrupt Governments: 291stLargest Retail Industry: 543rdLargest Black Market: 578thMost Devout: 582ndHighest Average Incomes: 587thMost Subsidized Industry: 650thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 732ndLargest Mining Sector: 746thMost Patriotic: 810thLargest Insurance Industry: 1,285thHighest Poor Incomes: 1,385thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 1,448thMost Efficient Economies: 1,469thMost Avoided: 1,593rdMost Ignorant Citizens: 1,639thLargest Governments: 2,157thTop
5%
Highest Wealthy Incomes: 2,871stLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 3,367thLowest Crime Rates: 3,667thFattest Citizens: 4,024thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 4,244thHighest Economic Output: 4,382ndLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 4,467thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 5,818thHighest Average Tax Rates: 5,892ndRudest Citizens: 6,870thMost Conservative: 9,793rdMost Authoritarian: 10,882ndTop
10%
Most Extensive Public Healthcare: 13,421stLargest Agricultural Sector: 14,593rdMost Stationary: 15,611thMost Influential: 17,154thMost Advanced Public Education: 18,553rdMost Advanced Public Transport: 18,573rdLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 23,696th
Top
1%
Largest Manufacturing Sector: 5th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 7th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 12th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 13th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 15th in the regionLargest Black Market: 19th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 25th in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 27th in the regionMost Devout: 29th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 29th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 30th in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 36th in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 43rd in the regionMost Patriotic: 44th in the regionMost Avoided: 58th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 58th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 76th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 84th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 84th in the regionTop
5%
Highest Wealthy Incomes: 100th in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 112th in the regionLargest Governments: 118th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 134th in the regionFattest Citizens: 141st in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 182nd in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 201st in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 202nd in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 301st in the regionRudest Citizens: 354th in the regionMost Stationary: 367th in the regionTop
10%
Largest Agricultural Sector: 525th in the regionMost Conservative: 530th in the regionMost Authoritarian: 567th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 660th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 686th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 774th in the regionLargest Populations: 876th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 880th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Firzograd, schoolchildren must pass a six-month Ethics and Safety Committee Assessment before they are allowed to mix baking soda and vinegar.
  • : Following new legislation in Firzograd, the line of people waiting for a visa interview in front of foreign embassies is typically a mile long.
  • : Following new legislation in Firzograd, government ministers claim to ride dragons to work.
  • : Following new legislation in Firzograd, the nation operates a "finders-keepers" policy with other nations' citizens.
  • : Following new legislation in Firzograd, creating cardboard imitations of missiles is a new top-secret military project.
  • : Following new legislation in Firzograd, it's scientifically provable that Firzogradian guys don't know how to make a woman happy.
  • : Following new legislation in Firzograd, new safety regulations require all cars manufactured in Firzograd to be bombproof.
  • : Following new legislation in Firzograd, you need a signed affidavit from a registered psychiatrist to claim that you have crazy low prices.
  • : Following new legislation in Firzograd, the government has the power to seize property at will.
  • : Following new legislation in Firzograd, children who believe in the tooth fairy are frequently shipped off to Bigtopia.

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