The Constitutional Monarchy of Firifanteria is a massive, socially progressive nation, ruled by Queen Irene XVI with a fair hand, and renowned for its rum-swilling pirates, complete lack of prisons, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic population of 1.77 billion Firifanterians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The enormous government juggles the competing demands of Healthcare, Welfare, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Phompus. The average income tax rate is 72.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Firifanterian economy, worth 133 trillion bitcoins a year, is quite specialized and led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Trout Farming, Information Technology, and Furniture Restoration. Black market activity is notable. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 75,431 bitcoins, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

10-year-olds who struggle with integrating by parts are considered slow learners, elections are won by the candidate who makes the best 'yo mama' jokes, bemused citizens are encouraged to sing foreign-language hymns of religions they have never heard of, and citizens recently voted in favour of declaring bubblewrap an 'abomination of nature'. Crime is totally unknown. Firifanteria's national animal is the leopard, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Order of the One God.

Firifanteria is ranked 50,106^th in the world and 79^th in Conch Kingdom for Largest Soda Pop Sector, scoring 3,056.27 on the Addison-Fukk Productivity Rating.