The Kingdom of Felhaven is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by King Edward Dagobert Vortigern with an even hand, and notable for its compulsory military service, free-roaming dinosaurs, and compulsory gun ownership. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, devout population of 2.278 billion Felhavenians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized, corrupt government prioritizes Defense, although Industry, Education, and Healthcare are also considered important, while Social Policy and International Aid are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Felport. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 64.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Felhavenian economy, worth 321 trillion Crownmarks a year, is led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, and Retail. Black market activity is extensive. Average income is an impressive 141,217 Crownmarks, with the richest citizens earning 8.4 times as much as the poorest.

Homeowners are evicted to make way for new runways, road signs are getting harder to read under layers of knitted woolen cardigans, street preachers spend more time condemning government bureaucracy than passers-by, and corporate executives continue to enjoy generous tax benefits while the public is taxed to the hilt. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Felhaven's national animal is the Hawk, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Christian Monarchism.

Felhaven is ranked 99,815^th in the world and 2,987^th in Osiris for Most Extensive Civil Rights, with 49.43 Martin Luther King, Jr. Units.