The Kingdom of Felhaven is a massive, cultured nation, ruled by King Dagobert XI with an even hand, and remarkable for its pith helmet sales, sprawling nuclear power plants, and compulsory gun ownership. The hard-nosed, hard-working, devout population of 2.964 billion Felhavenians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Industry, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Felport. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 68.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Felhavenian economy, worth 464 trillion Crownmarks a year, is led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, and Retail. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is an impressive 156,834 Crownmarks, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 554,167 per year while the poor average 32,077, a ratio of 17.3 to 1.

Pregnant hitchhikers with signs requesting rides to "competent care" are a common sight on Felhavenian roads, captains must wait until all rats are safe before jumping ship, advert breaks are played at lower volumes to make them easier to ignore, and group hugs break out during floor votes. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Felhaven's national animal is the Hawk, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Exoteric Stoicism.

Felhaven is ranked 101,725^th in the world and 4,563^rd in The North Pacific for Nudest, with 99.75 Cheeks Per Square Mile.