The Democratic republic of Federal republic of Socialsts is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Chancellor Giuseppe with an iron fist, and notable for its anti-smoking policies, complete lack of prisons, and smutty television. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 3.985 billion socialians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The large, corrupt government prioritizes Defense, although Administration, Education, and Industry are also considered important, while Spirituality isn't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Sekpolis. The average income tax rate is 88.0%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient socialian economy, worth 622 trillion Federal Bars a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, and Retail. Average income is an impressive 156,267 Federal Bars, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Armed security details escort librarians to their homes, friendly fire incidents usually result in severe burns, pretending to be prejudiced is a good way to get out of jury duty, and Chancellor Giuseppe is famed for giving great back rubs. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Federal republic of Socialsts's national animal is the lynx, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Atheism.

Federal republic of Socialsts is ranked 15,481^st in the world and 4^th in The Orange Order for Smartest Citizens, with 72.78 quips per hour.