by Max Barry

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Highest Drug Use: 1,502nd Largest Soda Pop Sector: 1,811th Largest Publishing Industry: 2,408th
The Panda's Federal Republic of
Knowledge is Power
Communications Officer
Civil Rights
Political Freedom

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend

Europeia Dispatch Office

Population8.098 billion

CapitalRaging Coolidgetopia
Leadera Panda that wandered into the Capitol


The Panda's Federal Republic of Europeia Dispatch Office is a colossal, socially progressive nation, ruled by a Panda that wandered into the Capitol with a fair hand, and notable for its multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, daily referendums, and absence of drug laws. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 8.098 billion Dispatchers live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The relatively small, liberal, pro-business, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Education, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Raging Coolidgetopia. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 35.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Europeian economy, worth a remarkable 1,390 trillion Dispatches a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Tourism, and Soda Sales. Average income is an impressive 171,723 Dispatches, with the richest citizens earning 5.6 times as much as the poorest.

Election results are often delayed for weeks to count the expat votes, park rangers struggle to deal with a rash of stolen pic-a-nic baskets, builders across Europeia Dispatch Office are blocked up with orders for new public loos, and military funding has been stripped back. Crime is well under control. Europeia Dispatch Office's national animal is the Journalist, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Europeia Dispatch Office is ranked 148,448th in the world and 865th in Europeia for Most Compassionate Citizens, scoring 33.37 on the Kitten Softness Rating.

Highest Drug Use: 1,502ndLargest Soda Pop Sector: 1,811thTop
Largest Publishing Industry: 2,408thMost Politically Free: 3,663rdMost Extensive Civil Rights: 3,704thMost Efficient Economies: 4,149thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 4,790thMost Subsidized Industry: 4,937thMost Rebellious Youth: 5,975thHighest Disposable Incomes: 6,339thMost Cultured: 6,457thMost Stationary: 6,924thNudest: 6,950thSmartest Citizens: 7,122ndHighest Economic Output: 7,763rdFattest Citizens: 7,822ndLargest Cheese Export Sector: 8,051stMost Cheerful Citizens: 8,153rdHighest Average Incomes: 8,359thMost Extreme: 8,549thLargest Gambling Industry: 8,705thTop
Most Developed: 9,712thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 10,159thMost Influential: 11,410thRudest Citizens: 11,684thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 13,064thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 13,502ndLargest Black Market: 13,717thMost Advanced Public Education: 14,832ndMost Scientifically Advanced: 15,637thMost Armed: 16,216thLargest Information Technology Sector: 16,232ndLongest Average Lifespans: 17,561stLargest Insurance Industry: 17,927th
Highest Drug Use: 3rd in the regionMost Politically Free: 5th in the regionMost Extensive Civil Rights: 6th in the regionTop
Largest Soda Pop Sector: 17th in the regionMost Extreme: 20th in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 26th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 26th in the regionMost Stationary: 31st in the regionFattest Citizens: 32nd in the regionNudest: 33rd in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 41st in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 44th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 45th in the regionMost Pro-Market: 50th in the regionTop
Most Armed: 59th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 61st in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 71st in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 74th in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 74th in the regionRudest Citizens: 75th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 75th in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 84th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 84th in the regionLargest Black Market: 86th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 91st in the regionSmartest Citizens: 92nd in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 95th in the regionMost Cultured: 100th in the region

National Happenings

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