by Max Barry

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Highest Drug Use: 1,691stLargest Soda Pop Sector: 2,052ndLargest Publishing Industry: 2,438th
The Panda's Federal Republic of
Knowledge is Power
Communications Officer
Civil Rights
Political Freedom
Widely Abused

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Europeia Dispatch Office

Population14.519 billion

CapitalRaging Coolidgetopia
Leadera Panda that wandered into the Capitol


The Panda's Federal Republic of Europeia Dispatch Office is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by a Panda that wandered into the Capitol with a fair hand, and notable for its national health service, frequent executions, and spontaneously combusting cars. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 14.519 billion Dispatchers live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The relatively small, liberal, pro-business, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Education, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Raging Coolidgetopia. The average income tax rate is 33.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Europeian economy, worth a remarkable 2,516 trillion Dispatches a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Tourism, and Soda Sales. Average income is an impressive 173,324 Dispatches, with the richest citizens earning 5.4 times as much as the poorest.

Barbed wire entanglements and guard towers surround the Raging Coolidgetopia Natural History Museum, fruit market traders let their stock spoil rather than reduce their prices at the day's end, legislators work 24/7 due to an influx of single-issue bills, and the nation's prisons are touted as the best weight loss programs money can't buy. Crime is well under control. Europeia Dispatch Office's national animal is the Journalist, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Europeia Dispatch Office is ranked 120,284th in the world and 565th in Europeia for Most Valuable International Artwork, with zero Bank.

Highest Drug Use: 1,691stLargest Soda Pop Sector: 2,052ndTop
Largest Publishing Industry: 2,438thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 2,611thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 4,250thMost Efficient Economies: 4,399thHighest Disposable Incomes: 4,652ndMost Rebellious Youth: 4,780thMost Stationary: 4,880thHighest Economic Output: 6,030thMost Cultured: 6,270thMost Cheerful Citizens: 7,062ndMost Subsidized Industry: 7,383rdSmartest Citizens: 8,329thHighest Average Incomes: 9,785thNudest: 9,845thMost Influential: 10,175thLargest Gambling Industry: 10,197thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 11,403rdHighest Wealthy Incomes: 11,496thTop
Fattest Citizens: 12,417thMost Developed: 14,630thMost Extensive Civil Rights: 15,001stMost Scientifically Advanced: 15,426thMost Politically Free: 15,603rdLargest Populations: 16,830thMost Advanced Public Education: 17,352ndLargest Information Technology Sector: 17,666thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 17,971stLargest Insurance Industry: 22,051stMost Inclusive: 22,663rdHighest Poor Incomes: 22,881stMost Extreme: 22,911th
Highest Drug Use: 4th in the regionMost Politically Free: 6th in the regionTop
Most Extensive Civil Rights: 9th in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 12th in the regionMost Stationary: 12th in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 19th in the regionMost Extreme: 20th in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 23rd in the regionNudest: 27th in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 27th in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 31st in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 32nd in the regionFattest Citizens: 41st in the regionTop
Most Efficient Economies: 46th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 48th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 52nd in the regionMost Pro-Market: 52nd in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 55th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 58th in the regionLargest Populations: 59th in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 62nd in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 63rd in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 66th in the regionMost Armed: 68th in the region

National Happenings

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