by Max Barry

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Highest Drug Use: 1,626thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 1,896thLargest Publishing Industry: 2,421st
The Panda's Federal Republic of
Knowledge is Power
Communications Officer
Civil Rights
Political Freedom
Widely Abused

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Europeia Dispatch Office

Population13.154 billion

CapitalRaging Coolidgetopia
Leadera Panda that wandered into the Capitol


The Panda's Federal Republic of Europeia Dispatch Office is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by a Panda that wandered into the Capitol with a fair hand, and remarkable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, flagrant waste-dumping, and spontaneously combusting cars. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 13.154 billion Dispatchers live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The relatively small, liberal, pro-business, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Education, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Raging Coolidgetopia. The average income tax rate is 33.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Europeian economy, worth a remarkable 2,279 trillion Dispatches a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Tourism, and Soda Sales. Average income is an impressive 173,324 Dispatches, with the richest citizens earning 5.4 times as much as the poorest.

Barbed wire entanglements and guard towers surround the Raging Coolidgetopia Natural History Museum, fruit market traders let their stock spoil rather than reduce their prices at the day's end, legislators work 24/7 due to an influx of single-issue bills, and the nation's prisons are touted as the best weight loss programs money can't buy. Crime is well under control. Europeia Dispatch Office's national animal is the Journalist, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Europeia Dispatch Office is ranked 84,837th in the world and 417th in Europeia for Largest Mining Sector, scoring 2,317.34 on the Blue Sky Asbestos Index.

Highest Drug Use: 1,626thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 1,896thTop
Largest Publishing Industry: 2,421stLargest Cheese Export Sector: 2,664thMost Efficient Economies: 4,002ndLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 4,308thMost Rebellious Youth: 4,791stHighest Disposable Incomes: 4,829thMost Stationary: 5,083rdMost Cultured: 6,177thHighest Economic Output: 6,200thMost Subsidized Industry: 6,416thMost Cheerful Citizens: 6,657thSmartest Citizens: 8,024thNudest: 8,632ndLargest Gambling Industry: 9,117thHighest Average Incomes: 9,266thTop
Most Influential: 10,653rdMost Extensive Civil Rights: 11,115thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 11,154thFattest Citizens: 11,279thMost Politically Free: 11,735thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 12,203rdMost Developed: 13,605thMost Scientifically Advanced: 14,904thMost Advanced Public Education: 15,922ndLargest Manufacturing Sector: 16,696thLargest Information Technology Sector: 16,913thLargest Populations: 17,317thMost Extreme: 18,838thHighest Poor Incomes: 19,537thLargest Insurance Industry: 20,259th
Highest Drug Use: 3rd in the regionMost Extensive Civil Rights: 5th in the regionMost Politically Free: 6th in the regionTop
Largest Soda Pop Sector: 12th in the regionMost Stationary: 14th in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 27th in the regionMost Extreme: 28th in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 28th in the regionNudest: 28th in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 33rd in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 35th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 36th in the regionFattest Citizens: 41st in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 48th in the regionMost Pro-Market: 51st in the regionHighest Economic Output: 55th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 57th in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 57th in the regionTop
Largest Populations: 66th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 73rd in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 87th in the regionMost Cultured: 89th in the regionMost Cheerful Citizens: 92nd in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 93rd in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 97th in the regionRudest Citizens: 98th in the regionMost Armed: 101st in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 106th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 111th in the region

National Happenings

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