by Max Barry

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Largest Soda Pop Sector: 2,364thLargest Publishing Industry: 3,143rdMost Stationary: 3,723rd
The Panda's Federal Republic of
Knowledge is Power
Communications Officer
Civil Rights
Political Freedom
Widely Abused

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Europeia Dispatch Office

Population21.644 billion

CapitalRaging Coolidgetopia
Leadera Panda that wandered into the Capitol


The Panda's Federal Republic of Europeia Dispatch Office is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by a Panda that wandered into the Capitol with a fair hand, and notable for its national health service, smutty television, and flagrant waste-dumping. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 21.644 billion Dispatchers live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The relatively small, liberal, pro-business, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Education, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Raging Coolidgetopia. The average income tax rate is 33.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Europeian economy, worth a remarkable 3,751 trillion Dispatches a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Tourism, and Soda Sales. Average income is an impressive 173,324 Dispatches, with the richest citizens earning 5.4 times as much as the poorest.

Barbed wire entanglements and guard towers surround the Raging Coolidgetopia Natural History Museum, fruit market traders let their stock spoil rather than reduce their prices at the day's end, legislators work 24/7 due to an influx of single-issue bills, and the nation's prisons are touted as the best weight loss programs money can't buy. Crime is well under control. Europeia Dispatch Office's national animal is the Journalist, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Europeia Dispatch Office is ranked 49,388th in the world and 284th in Europeia for Longest Average Lifespans, with 81.82 years.

Largest Soda Pop Sector: 2,364thTop
Largest Publishing Industry: 3,143rdMost Stationary: 3,723rdLargest Cheese Export Sector: 4,145thMost Rebellious Youth: 4,556thHighest Disposable Incomes: 4,889thHighest Drug Use: 5,028thHighest Economic Output: 5,319thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 5,550thMost Efficient Economies: 7,176thMost Cultured: 7,258thMost Cheerful Citizens: 7,805thSmartest Citizens: 8,960thLargest Gambling Industry: 10,300thHighest Food Quality: 13,189thMost Influential: 13,222ndLargest Populations: 14,071stTop
Most Subsidized Industry: 14,985thHighest Average Incomes: 15,416thFattest Citizens: 15,556thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 16,032ndNudest: 16,226thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 16,648thMost Developed: 16,836thMost Scientifically Advanced: 17,384thMost Advanced Public Education: 19,838thLargest Information Technology Sector: 23,242ndMost Extensive Civil Rights: 23,644thMost Politically Free: 23,723rdMost Inclusive: 25,183rdLargest Insurance Industry: 25,966th
Most Politically Free: 8th in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 8th in the regionMost Stationary: 8th in the regionTop
Most Extensive Civil Rights: 13th in the regionHighest Drug Use: 18th in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 19th in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 19th in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 21st in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 27th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 31st in the regionNudest: 32nd in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 34th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 38th in the regionFattest Citizens: 38th in the regionLargest Populations: 39th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 41st in the regionMost Extreme: 42nd in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 50th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 57th in the regionTop
Largest Basket Weaving Sector: 60th in the regionRudest Citizens: 62nd in the regionMost Cultured: 64th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 72nd in the regionMost Cheerful Citizens: 73rd in the regionSmartest Citizens: 75th in the regionMost Pro-Market: 76th in the regionMost Armed: 81st in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 99th in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 102nd in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 116th in the regionHighest Food Quality: 116th in the region

National Happenings

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