by Max Barry

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Highest Drug Use: 1,626th Largest Soda Pop Sector: 1,760th Largest Publishing Industry: 2,312th
The Panda's Federal Republic of
Knowledge is Power
Communications Officer
Civil Rights
Political Freedom
Widely Abused

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Europeia Dispatch Office

Population10.47 billion

CapitalRaging Coolidgetopia
Leadera Panda that wandered into the Capitol


The Panda's Federal Republic of Europeia Dispatch Office is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by a Panda that wandered into the Capitol with a fair hand, and remarkable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, absence of drug laws, and devotion to social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 10.47 billion Dispatchers live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The relatively small, liberal, pro-business, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Education, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Raging Coolidgetopia. The average income tax rate is 35.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Europeian economy, worth a remarkable 1,800 trillion Dispatches a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Tourism, and Soda Sales. Average income is an impressive 172,001 Dispatches, with the richest citizens earning 5.4 times as much as the poorest.

Barbed wire entanglements and guard towers surround the Raging Coolidgetopia Natural History Museum, fruit market traders let their stock spoil rather than reduce their prices at the day's end, legislators work 24/7 due to an influx of single-issue bills, and the nation's prisons are touted as the best weight loss programs money can't buy. Crime is well under control. Europeia Dispatch Office's national animal is the Journalist, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Europeia Dispatch Office is ranked 19,546th in the world and 66th in Europeia for Most Pro-Market, scoring 75 on the Rand Index.

Highest Drug Use: 1,626thTop
Largest Soda Pop Sector: 1,760thLargest Publishing Industry: 2,312thMost Efficient Economies: 3,859thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 4,266thMost Extensive Civil Rights: 4,346thMost Politically Free: 4,827thMost Subsidized Industry: 4,874thMost Rebellious Youth: 5,046thHighest Disposable Incomes: 5,438thMost Stationary: 5,881stMost Cultured: 6,221stLargest Cheese Export Sector: 6,506thNudest: 6,749thHighest Economic Output: 6,814thMost Cheerful Citizens: 6,886thSmartest Citizens: 7,735thLargest Gambling Industry: 7,924thFattest Citizens: 8,162ndTop
Highest Average Incomes: 8,901stLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 9,844thMost Developed: 10,443rdMost Extreme: 10,846thMost Influential: 11,007thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 12,646thRudest Citizens: 14,043rdMost Advanced Public Education: 14,683rdLargest Manufacturing Sector: 14,952ndMost Scientifically Advanced: 15,504thLargest Information Technology Sector: 16,516thMost Armed: 17,008thLargest Insurance Industry: 17,017thLongest Average Lifespans: 17,151st
Highest Drug Use: 3rd in the regionMost Politically Free: 5th in the regionMost Extensive Civil Rights: 6th in the regionTop
Largest Soda Pop Sector: 18th in the regionMost Stationary: 21st in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 24th in the regionNudest: 26th in the regionMost Extreme: 36th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 37th in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 37th in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 44th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 45th in the regionFattest Citizens: 49th in the regionTop
Most Subsidized Industry: 58th in the regionMost Armed: 62nd in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 63rd in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 65th in the regionMost Pro-Market: 66th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 68th in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 74th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 74th in the regionLargest Black Market: 75th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 78th in the regionLargest Populations: 81st in the regionMost Cultured: 96th in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 98th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 99th in the regionRudest Citizens: 99th in the region

National Happenings

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