by Max Barry

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Highest Drug Use: 1,600thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 1,820thLargest Publishing Industry: 2,482nd
The Panda's Federal Republic of
Knowledge is Power
Communications Officer
Civil Rights
Political Freedom
Widely Abused

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Europeia Dispatch Office

Population12.176 billion

CapitalRaging Coolidgetopia
Leadera Panda that wandered into the Capitol


The Panda's Federal Republic of Europeia Dispatch Office is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by a Panda that wandered into the Capitol with a fair hand, and remarkable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, flagrant waste-dumping, and national health service. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 12.176 billion Dispatchers live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The relatively small, liberal, pro-business, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Education, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Raging Coolidgetopia. The average income tax rate is 33.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Europeian economy, worth a remarkable 2,110 trillion Dispatches a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Tourism, and Soda Sales. Average income is an impressive 173,324 Dispatches, with the richest citizens earning 5.4 times as much as the poorest.

Barbed wire entanglements and guard towers surround the Raging Coolidgetopia Natural History Museum, fruit market traders let their stock spoil rather than reduce their prices at the day's end, legislators work 24/7 due to an influx of single-issue bills, and the nation's prisons are touted as the best weight loss programs money can't buy. Crime is well under control. Europeia Dispatch Office's national animal is the Journalist, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Europeia Dispatch Office is ranked 54,000th in the world and 190th in Europeia for Greatest Rich-Poor Divides, with 5.37 Rich To Poor Income Ratio.

Highest Drug Use: 1,600thTop
Largest Soda Pop Sector: 1,820thLargest Publishing Industry: 2,482ndLargest Cheese Export Sector: 2,784thMost Efficient Economies: 3,844thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 4,234thMost Rebellious Youth: 4,744thHighest Disposable Incomes: 5,072ndMost Stationary: 5,310thMost Subsidized Industry: 5,360thMost Cultured: 5,983rdMost Extensive Civil Rights: 6,361stHighest Economic Output: 6,395thMost Cheerful Citizens: 6,471stMost Politically Free: 6,705thNudest: 6,879thSmartest Citizens: 7,773rdLargest Gambling Industry: 8,370thTop
Highest Average Incomes: 9,252ndMost Influential: 9,371stFattest Citizens: 9,530thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 10,832ndHighest Wealthy Incomes: 11,920thMost Extreme: 13,111thMost Developed: 13,318thMost Advanced Public Education: 14,540thMost Scientifically Advanced: 14,842ndRudest Citizens: 15,521stLargest Manufacturing Sector: 15,881stLargest Information Technology Sector: 16,810th
Highest Drug Use: 3rd in the regionMost Politically Free: 4th in the regionMost Extensive Civil Rights: 7th in the regionTop
Most Stationary: 16th in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 16th in the regionMost Extreme: 20th in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 22nd in the regionNudest: 27th in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 31st in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 31st in the regionFattest Citizens: 35th in the regionMost Pro-Market: 36th in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 37th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 42nd in the regionTop
Most Efficient Economies: 46th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 53rd in the regionHighest Economic Output: 57th in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 59th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 62nd in the regionLargest Populations: 72nd in the regionMost Armed: 75th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 82nd in the regionMost Cultured: 82nd in the regionRudest Citizens: 83rd in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 85th in the region

National Happenings

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