by Max Barry

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Highest Drug Use: 1,653rdLargest Soda Pop Sector: 1,977thLargest Publishing Industry: 2,454th
The Panda's Federal Republic of
Knowledge is Power
Communications Officer
Civil Rights
Political Freedom
Widely Abused

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Europeia Dispatch Office

Population13.784 billion

CapitalRaging Coolidgetopia
Leadera Panda that wandered into the Capitol


The Panda's Federal Republic of Europeia Dispatch Office is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by a Panda that wandered into the Capitol with a fair hand, and remarkable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, and spontaneously combusting cars. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 13.784 billion Dispatchers live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The relatively small, liberal, pro-business, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Education, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Raging Coolidgetopia. The average income tax rate is 33.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Europeian economy, worth a remarkable 2,389 trillion Dispatches a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Tourism, and Soda Sales. Average income is an impressive 173,324 Dispatches, with the richest citizens earning 5.4 times as much as the poorest.

Barbed wire entanglements and guard towers surround the Raging Coolidgetopia Natural History Museum, fruit market traders let their stock spoil rather than reduce their prices at the day's end, legislators work 24/7 due to an influx of single-issue bills, and the nation's prisons are touted as the best weight loss programs money can't buy. Crime is well under control. Europeia Dispatch Office's national animal is the Journalist, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Europeia Dispatch Office is ranked 6,791st in the world and 55th in Europeia for Most Subsidized Industry, scoring 8,282.66 on the Gilded Widget Scale.

Highest Drug Use: 1,653rdLargest Soda Pop Sector: 1,977thTop
Largest Publishing Industry: 2,454thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 2,588thMost Efficient Economies: 4,076thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 4,230thHighest Disposable Incomes: 4,730thMost Rebellious Youth: 4,752ndMost Stationary: 5,010thHighest Economic Output: 6,113thMost Cultured: 6,169thMost Subsidized Industry: 6,791stMost Cheerful Citizens: 6,795thSmartest Citizens: 8,106thNudest: 9,439thHighest Average Incomes: 9,499thLargest Gambling Industry: 9,658thMost Influential: 10,394thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 11,282ndTop
Highest Wealthy Incomes: 11,501stFattest Citizens: 12,200thMost Developed: 14,041stMost Extensive Civil Rights: 14,786thMost Scientifically Advanced: 15,354thMost Politically Free: 15,390thMost Advanced Public Education: 16,868thLargest Populations: 17,038thLargest Information Technology Sector: 17,624thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 17,795thLargest Insurance Industry: 21,537thHighest Poor Incomes: 21,898thMost Inclusive: 22,278th
Highest Drug Use: 4th in the regionMost Extensive Civil Rights: 7th in the regionMost Politically Free: 7th in the regionTop
Largest Soda Pop Sector: 12th in the regionMost Stationary: 14th in the regionMost Extreme: 20th in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 21st in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 22nd in the regionNudest: 27th in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 31st in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 31st in the regionFattest Citizens: 39th in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 42nd in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 46th in the regionTop
Most Rebellious Youth: 49th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 55th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 57th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 63rd in the regionLargest Populations: 66th in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 67th in the regionMost Pro-Market: 68th in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 78th in the regionMost Cultured: 80th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 81st in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 82nd in the regionRudest Citizens: 84th in the regionMost Cheerful Citizens: 88th in the regionMost Armed: 89th in the region

National Happenings

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