The Royal Federation of Etrius is a colossal, genial nation, ruled by Lady Natalia Attar with an even hand, and renowned for its national health service, daily referendums, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, cheerful population of 7.987 billion Etrians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The enormous government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kiros. The average income tax rate is 97.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Etrian economy, worth a remarkable 1,256 trillion Kalroes a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is fairly diversified, is dominated by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Tourism, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Average income is an impressive 157,282 Kalroes, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

People typically base their votes on which party has the cutest logo, parents seeking custody have to write a five-thousand word analysis of their child's imaginary friend, wilderness-dwelling hermits are surprised to find railway stations on their front doorsteps, and evasive politicians don't fail to strongly commit to not committing to a course of non-inaction. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Etrius's national animal is the Umpal Badger, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is NeoHellenism.

Etrius is ranked 223,175^th in the world and 137^th in The Hole To Hide In for Most Primitive, scoring -519.61 on the Scary Big Number Scale.