The Golden Billionare State of ETopiAna is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by Geldtasche with an iron fist, and renowned for its compulsory military service, suspicion of poets, and spontaneously combusting cars. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, devout population of 1.485 billion Etoans are rabid consumers, partly through choice and partly because the government tells them to and dissenters tend to vanish from their homes at night.

The relatively small, corrupt, pro-business, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Industry, Administration, and Education are also considered important, while International Aid and Spirituality receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of New Miami City. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 29.5%.

The frighteningly efficient ETopiAnan economy, worth 224 trillion Catunics a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Soda Sales, Retail, and Information Technology. Black market activity is extensive. Average income is an impressive 151,072 Catunics, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,077,478 per year while the poor average 6,964, a ratio of 154 to 1.

Rural Etoans stare in awe at the bright lights of the big cities, recent events have left citizens both shaken and stirred, taxpayers cringe whenever someone brings up the Former Antagonist Reparations Treaty, and the commercialisation of highly deadly weapons has instilled ETopiAna with a very polite populace. Crime, especially youth-related, is a problem, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. ETopiAna's national animal is the Emu, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Orange Juice Religion.

ETopiAna is ranked 21,644^th in the world and 131^st in 10000 Islands for Largest Pizza Delivery Sector, scoring 4,840.05 on the Pepperoni Propulsion Productivity Index.