The Impending baldness of Ethel mermania is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by Fearless Leader with an iron fist, and notable for its museums and concert halls, lack of airports, and complete lack of prisons. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 25.67 billion Ethel mermanians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Great White Way. The average income tax rate is 5.9%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Ethel mermanian economy, worth a remarkable 5,250 trillion yids a year, is led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Retail, Arms Manufacturing, and Furniture Restoration. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an amazing 204,520 yids, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

90% of active duty EMAF personnel have been laid off and replaced by robot kill-drones, droves of former desperados are applying to join the border police, couples are discouraged from marrying until they can rank their partner on a scale of one to ten, and dozens of additional foreign policy specialists have been sent to the country's WA Mission. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Ethel mermania's national animal is the ethel merman, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans, and its national religion is the cult of fearless leaderism.

Ethel mermania is ranked 56,893^rd in the world and 4^th in Snazzy for Most Income Equality, scoring 57.64 on the Marx-Engels Emancipation Scale.