The Impending baldness of Ethel mermania is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Fearless Leader with an iron fist, and notable for its compulsory military service, multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, and frequent executions. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 15.082 billion Ethel mermanians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The relatively small, corrupt, well-organized government prioritizes Law & Order, with Environment, Education, and Public Transport also on the agenda, while Welfare and Social Policy receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Great White Way. Income tax is unheard of.

The powerhouse Ethel mermanian economy, worth a remarkable 1,719 trillion yids a year, is quite specialized and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Furniture Restoration. Black market activity is notable. Average income is an impressive 114,009 yids, with the richest citizens earning 9.5 times as much as the poorest.

An increasing percentage of the population's youth have homosexual parents, breast milk lattes are the newest fad among hip urbanites, children need to wear helmets and safety harnesses before mounting a carousel horse, and loans are available for students from poor families. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force. Ethel mermania's national animal is the ethel merman, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans, and its national religion is the cult of fearless leaderism.

Ethel mermania is ranked 75,057^th in the world and 11^th in Snazzy for Most Extreme, scoring 17.61 on the Paul-Nader Subjective Decentrality Index.