The Impending baldness of Ethel mermania is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by Fearless Leader with an iron fist, and remarkable for its rum-swilling pirates, museums and concert halls, and smutty television. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 23.612 billion Ethel mermanians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Great White Way. The average income tax rate is 2.9%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Ethel mermanian economy, worth a remarkable 4,395 trillion yids a year, is quite specialized and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Arms Manufacturing, and Furniture Restoration. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 186,134 yids, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Homeless people can be found sleeping on streets in front of unoccupied second homes, the children of Ethel mermania are often remarked upon for their cheery attitude to extreme violence, the government is seen to favor traditionalist religions, and executions are marked by quiet dignity and maybe a final round or two of whist. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Ethel mermania's national animal is the ethel merman, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans, and its national religion is the cult of fearless leaderism.

Ethel mermania is ranked 11,995^th in the world and 2^nd in Snazzy for Most Armed, with 7.34 Weapons Per Person.