The Impending baldness of Ethel mermania is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Fearless Leader with an iron fist, and remarkable for its public floggings, compulsory military service, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 22.409 billion Ethel mermanians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Great White Way. The average income tax rate is 1.9%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Ethel mermanian economy, worth a remarkable 4,058 trillion yids a year, is quite specialized and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Arms Manufacturing, and Furniture Restoration. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 181,097 yids, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Commercial jingles have been ham-handedly forced into world renowned symphonies, new safety regulations require all cars manufactured in Ethel mermania to be bombproof, politicians have literally dirty hands from their extracurricular activities, and soldiers with colourful mohawks make themselves perfect targets for snipers. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Ethel mermania's national animal is the ethel merman, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans, and its national religion is the cult of fearless leaderism.

Ethel mermania is ranked 4,467^th in the world and 3^rd in Snazzy for Most Popular Tourist Destinations, with 2,050.7 Tourists Per Hour.