The Impending baldness of Ethel mermania is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Fearless Leader with an iron fist, and notable for its free-roaming dinosaurs, frequent executions, and absence of drug laws. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 17.778 billion Ethel mermanians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The relatively small, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Education, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Great White Way. The average income tax rate is 1.3%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Ethel mermanian economy, worth a remarkable 2,346 trillion yids a year, is quite specialized and led by the Retail industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Furniture Restoration, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Black market activity is frequent. Average income is an impressive 131,993 yids, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.6 times as much as the poorest.

Mechanics are often exhausted by their work, artists are pillars of society, the fire protection service is wholly government-funded, and political dissidents are cut off from essential services. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Ethel mermania's national animal is the ethel merman, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans, and its national religion is the cult of fearless leaderism.

Ethel mermania is ranked 93,236^th in the world and 12^th in Snazzy for Most Extensive Civil Rights, with 56.38 Martin Luther King, Jr. Units.