The Impending baldness of Ethel mermania is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Fearless Leader with an iron fist, and remarkable for its smutty television, frequent executions, and absence of drug laws. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 15.435 billion Ethel mermanians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The relatively small, corrupt, well-organized government prioritizes Law & Order, although Environment, Education, and Public Transport are also considered important, while Welfare and Social Policy aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Great White Way. Income tax is unheard of.

The very strong Ethel mermanian economy, worth a remarkable 1,619 trillion yids a year, is quite specialized and led by the Retail industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Furniture Restoration. Black market activity is notable. Average income is an impressive 104,892 yids, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 302,037 per year while the poor average 28,933, a ratio of 10.4 to 1.

The ethel merman is a protected species, government ministers claim to ride dragons to work, Fearless Leader has awarded Fearless Leader many medals in appreciation for Fearless Leader's awesomeness, and contrails and thunderous rumbles have returned to the skies above. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force. Ethel mermania's national animal is the ethel merman, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans, and its national religion is the cult of fearless leaderism.

Ethel mermania is ranked 160,382^nd in the world and 12^th in Snazzy for Largest Mining Sector, scoring -16 on the Blue Sky Asbestos Index.