The Impending baldness of Ethel mermania is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Fearless Leader with an iron fist, and notable for its public floggings, ritual sacrifices, and free-roaming dinosaurs. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 21.547 billion Ethel mermanians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The relatively small, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Great White Way. The average income tax rate is 1.3%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Ethel mermanian economy, worth a remarkable 3,839 trillion yids a year, is quite specialized and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Arms Manufacturing, and Furniture Restoration. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is an impressive 178,204 yids, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Hairdressers are forced to use all the tricks of the trade after citizens became required to wear helmets at all times, couples are discouraged from marrying until they can rank their partner on a scale of one to ten, Amnesty Interregional has condemned Ethel mermania for ignoring crimes against humanity, and the government regularly hires contractors to construct high rise apartments. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Ethel mermania's national animal is the ethel merman, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans, and its national religion is the cult of fearless leaderism.

Ethel mermania is ranked 207,653^rd in the world and 13^th in Snazzy for Least Corrupt Governments, with 5.14 Percentage Of Bribes Refused.