by Max Barry

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Election 2020: Kuriko 44.2%, Trans Anarcho-Communist Lesbian Catgirls 34.4%, Caelapes 11.7%, Valentine Z 9.7%
Most World Assembly Endorsements: 690thMost Influential: 2,823rdMost Devout: 3,722nd
The Holy Empire of
Authoritarian Democracy
In Deo Fides
Civil Rights
Political Freedom
Very Good

Overview Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards


Population423 million



The Holy Empire of Esylara is a huge, environmentally stunning nation, notable for its prohibition of alcohol, avowedly heterosexual populace, and complete lack of prisons. The hard-nosed, humorless, devout population of 423 million Esylarans are prohibited from doing almost everything except voting, which they do timidly and conservatively.

The enormous, moralistic, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Spirituality. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Esylion. The average income tax rate is 84.6%.

The strong Esylaran economy, worth 29.7 trillion Esylds a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Beef-Based Agriculture, Door-to-door Insurance Sales, and Cheese Exports. Average income is 70,198 Esylds, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.9 times as much as the poorest.

The most common answers to where babies come from are "uh... ask your mother" and "um... ask your father", old folks reminisce about the last time someone was acquitted of a crime, the number of judges has tripled in recent months, and signatures have been replaced with illegible scribbles. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Esylara's national animal is the cat, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Esylara is ranked 77,290th in the world and 4,345th in The North Pacific for Most Politically Free, scoring 66.1 on the Diebold Election Inking Scale.

Most World Assembly Endorsements: 690thTop
Most Influential: 2,823rdMost Devout: 3,722ndHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 5,122ndTop
Most Pacifist: 9,355thHighest Average Tax Rates: 10,500thMost Advanced Public Transport: 11,627thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 11,919thHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 12,302ndLargest Welfare Programs: 14,596thBest Weather: 15,877thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 15,955thMost Beautiful Environments: 16,077thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 17,600thLowest Crime Rates: 18,044th
Most Devout: 150th in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 191st in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 457th in the regionTop
Highest Average Tax Rates: 475th in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 486th in the regionMost Pacifist: 496th in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 571st in the regionHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 575th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 647th in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 657th in the regionMost Influential: 811th in the regionBest Weather: 832nd in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 832nd in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 877th in the regionLargest Governments: 905th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Esylara was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Lowest Crime Rates.
  • : Following new legislation in Esylara, signatures have been replaced with illegible scribbles.
  • : Following new legislation in Esylara, the number of judges has tripled in recent months.
  • : Following new legislation in Esylara, old folks reminisce about the last time someone was acquitted of a crime.
  • : Following new legislation in Esylara, the most common answers to where babies come from are "uh... ask your mother" and "um... ask your father".
  • : Esylara voted for The Be Best of McMasterdonia in Round 2 of the election.
  • : Esylara voted for The Dictatorship of Trans Anarcho-Communist Lesbian Catgirls in Round 2 of the election.
  • : Esylara voted for The Be Best of McMasterdonia in Round 2 of the election.
  • : Following new legislation in Esylara, the new 'Who Wants To Be A Politician' election debate auditions are more popular than the debates themselves.
  • : Following new legislation in Esylara, there is a growing belief that consciousness is a simulated illusion within a computer-generated reality.


World Assembly

Endorsements Received: 207 » Corfad, Territorio di Nessuno, Loli County, Ethnon, Dar es Saalam, Yaorozu, The Rhein States, Abject Ludicrosity, Notyoutopia, Shibutani, El Fiji Grande, McMasterdonia, Siwale, Newpromisedland, Empy, New Bremerton, Pallaith, United Kahndaq, Imperial Joseon, Navigator Islands, God Leon, Yokciq Empire, Hamerica, Sundred, Advancia-Sizzletown, Koda-Land, Universal State Formula, The New Communist Republic Of States, Pazair, Alamei, Serendipita Martia, Sockmanland, Zyvetskistaahn, Porlock, Praeceps, Dakota Territories, New Biryukova, Napnomadia, Pheonisland, Dabarastan, Palgo, Arimbia, Psychotic Vegans, Guer Aike, Daiz, Haminkwarea, Sil Dorsett, Ravendi, Omnistria, Xagill, and 157 others.Umuyyad, Chukstik Illahi, French Bananastan, Great Bights Mum, Karazan, Amauri, Valhalla123, Seenvorland, Unsophisticate, Interdimensional Zone, Destructive Government Endorsing System, The Reorganized Arctic Territories, Castle Federation, Noahs Second Country, Kuveria, Azzarel, Tianqing, Dreadton, Vincone Cae, North Bratislava, Ver Testua, Banabistan, Wineclaw, Liberate World Order, Fendlium, Trogville, Old Emporia, Shadowrik, Khoik, Zumlandia, Jasminlandia, The Iron Lions, Wit Noreis, Revolutionary Sealand, Eteles, Merconitonitopia, Woodsend, The Stratosphere Islands, Malta Comino Gozo, Selfgradatude, Glurponia, Zokk, Abiswashyo-bhumi, MiaryBhalzhack, Austral States of America, United Anglo-America, Venezuelia, New Caledon, The Endless Eventide, Pleroma Sans Romans, New Jamgra, Melkmeid, Loutsland, Mandexia, Sea Ghost, Lendara, Holy Oranz, Frances Francis the First of France, Black Templares, Heken, Valentine Z, Vivanco, Sunto, Angshire, Elgaland-Vargaland, 1 very fast endotarter, Methor, Gnomewatchers, Votak Matim, KhalChicken, The World Capitalist Confederation, Eschatosia, Clan Spaniel, Joodey, Olofin, Yun Empire, Xyrron, Banana Rat, The Tampa Bay Rays, Runeda, Bhigham, Steampunk Ariel, Eri-Maqa-Ena, SherpDaWerp in TNP, The Lancerian Empire, Ihese, Diodone, Prevaland, Noesantara, Crader, Lybirit, Reyalda, Godwanna, The Windmilluminati, Stone Ira, Dorito Dust, Orven, New Avian, Ummoki, Plangainer, Freyford, Land of the Cross, Nisastria, Harrys, Beagles Reborn, The Galactic Triumvirate, Xentherida, East Akra, Infantivore, Warsaw-Halicz, Morover, SORT, Kranostav, Antiyard, Novanoke, Avastate, Thenationofthesun, Greifenburg, Nistriabar, New Lakemba, Zecit, Nora Rexa, Varola, Supreme Leader Hadrian, Aratani, Some Random TNP Nation, Unshleepd, Yohannes, United Federation of Murica, New Octicarg, United Socialist Democratic, Irishvan, Westinor, Ereena, Grapefruite, Wisconsota, Mooe, Hyphen, Kobagia, Pra Keerick, Eravonia, Solskjar, Olowakandi, Maott, The Pantheons, The Serdey Islands, Kasazzastan, Korovan Isles, Aeolist, Fizban, Californian Redwood, Zeternia, 9003, The Most Freedom Ever, UKDSSA, Plembobria, and Astronomical.

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